A Message from within

'Through the first man fails, and through the later, Jesus rises!' Beautiful. This statment meant a lot to me. When I heard it last night during 'Abd el-Wahab el-Missery's lecture. In fact, the whole lecture was unbelievable beautiful and stunning. Very inspiring. Gives you billions of thoughts to ponder upon.... I feel it is a new phase in the relation, especially after the 5 hours talk we had shortly after the conversation in Marriot.

So, we need someone to fill a job in my department. A junior job. He/she will be reporting directly to me. Very few candidates applied to the job. We hardly find anyone suitable. Well, finally, after exerting tons of efforts, and sacrifice, they got me this candidate to interview. His resume looks ok. Not the great experience or relevance that I would like, but I have to hire someone. One week before the candidate came to see me for interview, he sat with the HR and another key person in the department. They briefed him on the job we are expecting him to do. They were not impressed, but they said relevant. Yesterday, he was to have an interview with me. Surprisingly he didn't show up on time. I waited in the meeting room at 10 a.m., but he didn't come. The busy woman I became recently, I was not ready to wait for him. I left after 10 minutes and asked the secretary to send him to my office if he showed up. Almost an hour later, my secretary knocked and said that M. came for int

You are probably sleeping. I just want to tell you that you are the nearest and dearest person to my heart in this entire world. I am thankful to the fact that I found you and connected with you on such a deep level. You give me a lot more than you can ever imagine. Not only have you given me the love of my life, but you have made me search into my soul for long-awaited answers to questions that have been haunting me for quite so long. You have brought me close to my own senses. You have tuned more finely to my very own thoughts, feelings and convictions. I am so grateful to you for all you have given me. I am so grateful to you for loving me so dearly. X, whatever I say or do will never begin to tell you how much I am indebted to your love. My dearest, rest assured that there passes no second where I am not feeling so deeply in love with you. You are my life. I love you.

...I sat alone with myself. I have been for almost 3 months extensively sharing myself, my silence, my thoughts, my food, my dreams, my books, my everything. Very closely watched. Very closely watching. I miss sitting in Cilantro friday mornings reading newspapers and sipping quietly my coffee. Watching people popping in, and leaving. I miss just hanging loose. Just be with myself. Totally. Fully. Enjoying and hating my silence. Crying and laughing at my fixations, dreams, desires, disappointments. I even stopped, or lost the urge, to write. Even now, I am just attempting to write. TRYING. Not like before. I am not by any means searching for duplicate experiences. SO what happened?

The more I unveil, the more I want to unveil; the more I discover the more I want to uncover; the more I love you, the more I want to love you. My heart leaps at your remembrance, & guess how often this happens.

Started with a wondering statment about 'Wisdom' & 'Knowledge', opened to a spacious space about seeking connections between, what seemingly appears disconnected and unrelated. Place: The old coffee shop where we used to meet. US: Different. Yet... Conversation: Same energy. Same flavour. Duration: Enough for a coffee and a brownie.

So, you enter a nice romantic place, see a couple of lovers just simply dissolving in one another. Holding hands. In total embrace. Holding one another. Feeling one another breath. Total harmony. Floating spirits. Nonstop rivers of unspoken messages and feelings....... and on and on I can go. What is the first thing most people look for? A ring in either of their hands to make sure they are married, or engaged. Make sure they are acting under the legal shell. If the ring is on, then they must be seriously in love and he is not playing with her emotions, and she is not for his money or position. Simply not playing. If they are married, we immediately assume they are just a new couple. No way they would be married for too long. We play judges. We look for checkpoints. We want everything to be as we know it. We want things the way we do it. We want everyone to have strong morals because this is the right way to do things. Not sure if we are moralistic ourselves or just using morals and et

Does living in a hypocrite society give you the right to be hypocrite? Does marrying more than one wife permissible in this Egyptian society's norm, especially that it claims its abidance with the Coran and Shari'a that permit man to take up to 4 wives? What does it follow at the end of the day, Coran or personal and social norms? Why isn't it ok to take a second wife if Allah permits it? If almost all the companions of the prophet had more than 1 wife, or this will be 'society' and 'culture norms' of the arabs at that time not applicable in our modern possessive society? Does 'Islam is a solution' is another hypocrite slogan or a sincere one? Do these people raising this slogan really know what they are advocating? Did they really investigate our society's problem and searche in Islam and found the 'Solution'? From whose perspective this solution will be? Will they allow man to marry more than one wife or won't? If yes or no, on what

Night of destiny, some would translate it as such. Others would say, Night of power, Night of Pure Love. A sufi would actually translate the word Layla, as pure love. Mysterious night. Does this ritual or practice or whatever you call it come under 'Commonism'? Muslim Brotherhood is back with new strategy. New Look as Ahram weekly called them in its latest article. I didn't see their banners anywhere near, but I read today that their slogans are: 'Islam is the solution.' 'Together we fix life with religion.' Well, I have mixed feelings with these slogans. First impression, Which Islam? What kind of solution? Solution to what? Fix what? What does religion have to do with politics? Wait a minute, what does Politics have to do with religion? Tons of questions? Does this slogans come under 'Commonism'?

Your gift is accepted and has always been. Your gift is yourself not a book or a pen. And if I accepted your book it's for, the trace of your soul its pages bore.

'What?' I exclaimed to my friend while having Iftar at a lebanese place. He said, 'Not COMMUNISM but commonism. Comes from 'common'. Everyone just doing what is common without thinking to differ.' Interesting! I thought to myself. Yes we are so fond of doing the 'common'. The norm. What we found our parents and those around us do. Just imitate. Sometimes we ourselves are not convinced of what we do, but still we do it. When asked why, we just surprisingly become talented at inventing reasons, usually boiling down to claiming its tight strong bond to our islamic, arabic, egyptian, society, culture, family norms and traditions. Of course, the more the religious factor the more you have a point that silence your contender. And this is when I use some of my often sayings Any secret? It is easier. Safer. Everyone does it, then it must be right. I am no genuis. Who am I to have a point of view or see differently or even think. Conform else you are a rebel. REB

I did a small piligrimage. Riyadh. Jeddah. Riyadh. Cairo. Stayed in Jeddah for 1 night. Just enough for one small piligramage. Strange things happened. Strange conversations took place the night of my going to Jeddah from Riyadh. Consciousness of different levels popped up. Images and pictures revealed itself in what intended to be a 30 minutes quick chat that extended to 6 hours of deep talk. Amazing this Divine presence that dominates everywhere. Every talk. Every intention. I entered the Haram. Was happy being there. Amazing. Enjoyed it more than expected. Why one night? I never intended to go. Happened like a dream. Suddenly I found myself there. Everything was arranged. So fast it started. So fast it ended. Forever it will be lasting. I am glad I had clear intentions. As clear as I can be with myself. How clear can this be? Do not know? Maybe twisted, but who cares. I threw another silent one. I am a menace. Playing tricks. On Him? No no, on me. However, I trust I will be guided t

On your note, 'US' neither negates nor replaces each of us. We are two people who were leading a separate lives in what seemed to them parallel paths. It happened that our paths crossed and the most spectacular thing happened; we discovered a bond so strong that it channeled our souls, hearts and minds so effortlessly. The more we became aware of this bond, the more we grew sure of it, the more we trusted its existence. The two of us seem to have been in eternal search for each other. Liberating is the fact that we have survived each other. But again, liberating from what? Ours is not a classical love relationship. Ours is the marriage of the mind, soul and heart. Eternal in its own right. It's our gateway to great potentials of rare human experiences. Yet astonished with its intensity, we might at time, try to bring it to earth, paint it in colours, or even challenge its very existence. Soon, however, we return weary, and defeated. This thing we share, I call it love, has

I have been tagged by Loulou . For some reason, I felt like paying her a gesture. I have been away from blogging, and not sharing much, so my gesture is to say this dear blogger, 'I will share again soon. I still love your sharing, Loul.' Seven things I plan to do: 1. Start reading and writing again in Islamic thoughts and M.E. society 2. Focus more on getting things done at work instead of at home 3. Take speech classes. How to pronounce arabic properly 4. Spend more time with my friends, A. specially 5. Resume Photography 6. Travel to Gouna. St. Kathryn. Hiking. Swimming 7. Finding a spanish tutor Seven things I can't do: 1. Eat fast 2. Take ones thoughts lightly. I have to know what he/she really thinks 3. Tell someone what to do 4. Not ask probing question 5. Wear my bag outside my Jacket. I wear it diagonal and then wear a jacket 6. Take thing at face value 7. Be indifferent *I dont like -ve question. Makes me think in backward. -ve + -ve= Postive Seven things I say mo

'There is something about water that is scary.' She said. '[She] is just a shadow of every passer by, mixed with her own. She sees herself through him, she reflects on him.' He realized. Well, he can not be more right. Shadow. Water. Reflection. Mirage. Refraction. Depth. Shallowness. Crystal clear. Disturbed. Still. Reflecting. Dark. Absorbing. Turmoil. Soothing. Fearing. Killing. Relaxing. Floods. Drought. Ocean. Lake. Pond. Coffee. Boiling. Freezing. Refreshing. Warming. Atomic bomb. Carrying the child in in his mother's womb. Everything H2O can be. Much much more that it is capable of doing. Yet no one recognizes it. Its reflections are what it is famous for. You desire coffee or coke, but never H2O. You long to go to the beach. Swim in the ocean or sea but never mention H20.

Life can not be that complicated, yet can not be that simple either. Confusing. Yes. Very actually. Born. Connect. Get attached on purpose. How can not you be. They die. Pain. You do not learn. Search for another one to attach to. Fall in love. This time your choice or so you think or even do not think. Something happens or nothing happens. You do not want to detach. Can not. Feel grabbed like a dead animal. Revolve and spin in their space. Reminding yourself that you want to be free. They tell you to go. Go. Go away. You beg to be a servant. But they are no masters, you know. And indeed you are no servant. Yet you act as one. They abuse you. You abuse yourself I suppose. You blame it all on them. They see you as fool. You see them as idiots. Both of you are idiots. You live in patterns. Call it energy patterns or life patterns. Pattern why need to define the type. Things are repeated. Things in your life I mean. You fall for the wrong people. You learn. Swear you were wrong. Never wi

*لا تسعني ارضى و لا سماي و لكن يسعني قلب عبدي المؤمن I am trying to write what this hadith means to me, but don't know what or why I remembered it. I understand it. Sometimes. Only sometimes. Other times I do not feel it. Sometimes feel it is just words. Sometimes it sounds so cool. Sometimes I feel an awe for the honour. Sometimes I feel that God is a high mainteinance and I can not keep up. Sometimes not at all. Not sure if I will attribute remembering this hadith to calling H. last night, whose father had just passed away the previous night. Not sure. All I know is that I just feel I want to have a separate post for that. I am just contemplating what triggered me. Is it the death thing or something else. WEll, it is not a clear either/or but a melange of both and I am more interested in the 'OR'. Death is sure something, but what it brings up is sure worth looking into. *Exact wording is missing

everything stays the same. I came back from somewhere only to find many changes on the blogsphere. From bloggers moving out, to another going to stand at new dimension; from a new bride having an abnormal nervous system activity to finding the best medicine in his arms; from donkey sink saw to rose babbling ; from rubbing mint to rubbing aganist her worn self ; from the wise changing his heart to me trying to overcome a tensed night aftermath; from liberating Sania while playing squash to liberating himself from a dense void ; from struggling with time to wanting to be recognized through her days ; from having God on her 'mind' to attempting to having a job on her mind; from Bergo's shoes selling protocols to our zionist cousin's protocols; from gharbeiya lana at kefaya to the same old bullshit . What else is new? I guess nothing.

'Eye donkey sink saw' Stolen from the usual time dimension. Boarders & boundaries collapsed back then. Check points recognized. Rivers flow. Rich silence enveloped the scene. Nervous smiles. Naughty laughs filled the air. Trembling happiness. Complete easiness. Bad food. Childish choices. Everyone was leaving when we entered. Shared food. Shared hidden thoughts. Unspoken promises. Mutual recognition of something developing. Wished time would freeze. Wished we would have stayed more before we both had to go. Said goodbye. Eyes flickered. My hair smelled like your car. Didn't sleep that night. Remembered the little kiss. Felt it and kept asking Why. Told me to just feel it. I did. Do not ruin the moment. I loved the moment. Put your mind to rest. It didn't exist. I was happy. Something told me this would be the last happy night. And it was really. Next time was not the same. My little mind starved to duplicate what we had that other night. Our efforts failed. Everythi

I feel a total mental and spiritual blockage. Can't think. Yawning. Tired. Sleepy. Bored. Want to just sit somewhere and space out. Think about nothing. Talk about nothing. Have a nice company next to me with whom I do the talking with the eyes. Nice music. Nice movie. Nice musical or theatrical play. Something to wake me up. To inflict passion in me of any sort. I am dead. Like my Nietzsche I guess.

Place: 40th floor lounge. Grand Hyatt. One of those comfortable coaches. Time: 10:30 till 12:30 am, Wednesday. State: Full after dinner upstairs. Ambiance: Relaxing except of some loud voice and not a so professional piano player. Smell of cuban cigar, intentionally blown in my face. I love the smell but can't smoke them. Event: Dinner & Cigar night out.

I just realized that I have changed my Friday routine for four succeeding weeks so far. It is not a 'routine' in the boring sense of the word, but the 'calm', 'relaxing' side that a routine can bring to one's state. I don't remember how I came about to invent the new routine, but it happened. One place pulled the other and they all fall in place with no effort or planning on my part. They fit perfectly that I found myself leaving Cilantro, naturally going to Diwan and then normally still walking to the Deals pasta place. All three places are in the same area. 2 minutes away from one another forming a triangle with Deals being their pivot. It feels like the three places are from the same family each running his own business. The harmony between them, of course as I personally experience it, is interesting. In fact, I actually see familiar faces doing the same routine. Not particularly the exact cylce or order, but bits and pieces of it. Half of it at time

Sayyid Qutb invoked the concept of human nature, Fitrah, as an essential component of his discourse. Unlike early 19th century modernist thinkers who viewed human nature negatively, Qutb considered it a positive source of energy that could possibly lead to happiness. He believed that man is a privileged human, gifted with a Fitrah that is fundamentally good and constructive on the condition that his actions confirms with the pure nature of his Fitrah. Should ‘man’ respect his Fitrah’s impulses, it would guide him to a balanced and sustained state of happiness. However, what is the relation between man and his knowledge of his Fitrah. Man’s sole and only guidance to understanding his Fitrah is through divine intervention. According to Qutb philosophy, between Fitrah and the natural order obtains a divinely ordained harmony; between man and the natural order may obtain happiness and harmony, or misery and discord depending on how man chooses to act. Between man and his Fitrah, there is i

Is it a relation with an object? Is it an act of pleasure driven from repetition, familiarity with the known, the 'joy of routine'? Or there is something else. Sex can be done when we are feeling bored. Probably? A substitute feeling just to replace the boredom we are feeling. Something like eating or drinking while watching a boring seires that we have seen zillion times on television. We have nothign else to do, so why not just watch it again, in this case, have sex again. Better than nothing. A substitute? Probably, again? Probably will continue! Interesting post at Zoss's on a book by Rebecca Goldstein. *The great Alberto Moravia novel, 'Boredom'

This is Mo's recommendation*. Interesting bost apout za diverent groubs in za society. I loved it. Blease go read it. Sanks! This , that , this and certainly this are interesting to dive in. I particularly like the 'mint in the Bus.' If you are one of these or those brace yourself, I suppose! Well, maybe you will actually like them, who knows! They are very well written. Moderate, thoughtful and funny.* This is an interesting one. Interesting for a total different reasons than those of Alif. Find your own judgement on the post. Hope it inspires you to say something about what I personally consider a phenomena . Zoss is absolutely AWESOME. Love her/his 'something', afraid my labelling will limit what I felt after reading the posts. Thanks! *Sorry Kayla, these are arabic posts. Check the last one, it is in English though.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am PRO Mubarak. Yes, I hate the guy. Yes, I know all the negatives he and his gang have been doing but there are positive points too, and these are what we should support and beg to dominant. Yes, I dream of someone else to come rule. I personally like the old monarchy time. BUT I believe that democracy is a way of life that needs training and readiness. Awareness. Lots of preparation before we grab it. I now enjoy the 'training' that everyone is exercising his right to say what he feels, go on demonstrations, curse the president. Awesome. This is what I am pro. Pro hearing the voicing and exercising my right to object and complain and be effective. Down or up with Mubarak is maybe the end result, but the main goal, I think, is 'exercizing' a right to be a positive citizen who feels that he OWNS the country and belong there. To feel that Egypt is indeed my country and I do contribute.

'...it is God's plan that He wants you to be put in a certain situation or to pass by something, even if you don't like, to examine us.' Interesting statment? Why people think this way about God & situations they are at? Can't think of any phrase other than, 'Changez le destin a chaque carefour...' by Brel! Any contradiction here between the two statments? Between Brel's and this statment? School of thought, if any in the two cases? Any connection with questioning vicegerency ? I dislike to think that God is putting exams, tests and watching you as you stumble for the sole purpose of 'examining' me. Examining me for what? He knows me inside out and doesnt need stupid suffering test to know how I will act or react. If we are going to speak in this naiive 'test' language, then I think everyone chooses his exams, his questions, and his answers, and we already know our answers. In otherwords, we consciously enter the exam we like but at

Yesterday, I walked to Dido's with my parisian friend. The weather was super nice and I was in the mood to walk actually. We didnt talk much, just enjoyed walking together exchanging couple of statments everynow and then. I guess, everyone in his own thoughts, which I hadnt much or any in particular. Just feeling a little quiet inside I guess. So we entered Dido's. We sat on the table overlooking the window. If you havent been to Dido's before, it is a small place, nothing fancy, very simple, very cheap too, and I like it. It was fairly empty except of a loud table with a group of girls and boys. Listening a little to their conversation I cant help but realize they were the close by Chruch's teenagers. The gals were each wearing a cross, and the guys a golden necklass with probably a cross hanging too. They were just hanging at Dido's after Mass. I remember my best friend M., he is christian, who used to love going to Mar'ashli church on fridays to socialize, at

Three names you go by: -Haal -Pikooli -Zeinab (just recently) Three screen names you have had : -Haal -Paris Three parts of your heritage : -Se'edi -French -Turkish Three things that you don't like : -Shallow talks and arguments -Showing off -Lame, scared attitude Three of your everyday essentials : -Reading with an early cup of coffee - working -Rememberance Three things you are wearing right now : -Old afghani bracelet -Skirt and tshirt -Grandma necklas Two truths and a lie: -I am impatient -I am passionate -I am lazy Three non-physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you: -Confident enough to be himself -Seriously cheerful and light -Ambitious Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you: -Nice smile and sparkling expressive eyes -Short hair (1/2 or 1) -Neatly dressed up with a fresh shower look and smell Three things you just can’t do: -Wear bikini -Be indifferent -Forget Three of your favorite hobbies -Horse backriding -Walking -Snorkling, s

أَ وْ كَظُلُمَتٍ فِي بَحْرٍ لُجِّيٍّ يَغْشَهُ مَوْجٌ مِنْ فَوْقِهِ مَوْجٌ مِنْ فَوْقِهِ سَحَابٌ ظُلُمَتٌ بَعْضُهَا فَوْقَ بَعْضٍ إِذَا أَخْرَجَ يَدَهُ لَمْ يَكَدْ يَرَهَا وَمَنْ لَمْ يَجْعَلْ اللَّهُ لَهُ نُورًا فَمَا لَهُ مِنْ نُورٍ أَلَمْ تَرَى أَنَّ اللَّهَ يُسَبِّحُ لَهُ مَنْ فِي السَّمَوَتِ وَالْأَرْضِ وَالطَّيْرُ صَفَّتٍ كُلٌّ قَدْ عَلِمَ صَلَاتَهُ وَتَسْبِيحَهُ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ بِمَا يَفْعَلُونَ (Al-Nur: 40-1) I was originally stopped by the last verse, but then couldnt ignore the verse before. Beautiful verses! Universal unity? Personal responsibility? Universal Harmony? Deep Instinct Knowledge coded in our Genes?

Yesterday was Cilantro's day for me. I stopped by twice, once early morning before heading to the office, and later in the afternoon to have lunch before heading to my hotshot snobbish client . This past month I have been working and consulting like crazy and have been seeing lots of interesting situations. Very challenging too. The great part is that I feel on top of all that. I think the before bed remeberance I started since the begining of Rajab has had some good effect. So, Cilantro 730 am. I entered, casually dressed in a white long sleeves shirt and a black skirt. The coffee rich aroma was the first thing that welcomed me. Apart from the rich aroma, the place was rather empty except of 2 men in their early 50's. The first man looked so decent in his white long sleeves shirt closely captured by a nice red and yellow cuffs, nice classical tie and a Gold & Silver Rolex. He looked so familiar but not sure where did I see him. I sat opposite to him, exchanged looks and

I see Music as the true maker of civilization. The thread that connects what I might have meant by 'Islam the civilization'. A further question hit me last night, 'what have become of us, Egyptians, who were conquered by this glamourous civilization called Muslims.' Did we call them the 'Arabs' or 'Muslim'. I dont know. I am also choosing to believe that Islam/Arab came to Egypt not by sword, but that we Egyptians did welcome them. The art of recitating Coran, a book I was browsing last night at Diwan, speaks about the different ways of readings Coran got me thinking about this 1/4 tone that we have in our music. Can it be an Islamic tone, Coranic tone? For instance, 'howa sahih, sahih , el hawa ghalaaaaab... ma3rafsh ana, ana .....' This crying like sound is actually Coranic, right? The prophet said, 'if you can't tabkou, fa tabakou' . This was not Egyptian music. We had our great Harp, 2 buo'ih like instruments inscripted in

Is Islam a 'religion', or more than that, a 'civilization'? Can we as a parallel term say Christendom rather than Christiantiy, China rather than Confucianism. Is it much more than a system of theology? Is it a complete civilization? 'Is it true that every Islamic movement of thought, be it religious, political or social, has tried to anchor itself to real or imagined facts of Islamic history , carefully selected and interpreted to justify or attack a current practice or future course of action. These movements are often radically different, so numerous and sometimes often oppose one another in what might seem to disinterested observer as ideological weapons rather than accounts of the past. Yet such is the nature of Islam or historical religions, that there has been always and will be a relation between what Muslims believe to be true and right and what they believe to have taken place in early Islamic history . Their quest for justice seems to be closely related t

This week I had a theatre itch. I wanted to go watch a play, not the commerical, summer ones, but what we call the serious type, that of Al-masra7 el Qawme style. I just felt like go sit in a nice, dark, cool place with some life show infront of me. Not any type of life show too, it had to be an agressive one. Agressive in terms of being full of emotions, struggle, with energetic, firey characters and drama. I couldnt think of anyone better than Raghda and her Shahrazad play showing at the Jumhuriya Theatre downtown. So, Tuesday almost 9:10 pm, I hopped on get dressed and while applying some makeup I thought of calling the theatre to check the exact time and when the ticket counter closed. Unfortunately, he said the theatre was closed that night. Oups, it was tuesday! Vacation. Well, on the spur of my excitement I forgot. Patience is a virtue. Wednesday came, still the dream vivid in my head. I was supposed to meet H. after work to talk some business before our important meeting this e

This post is only a venting area for all those who are angry at me for any reason. Feel free to express, and complain as you like. Please use all the space you want. Happy Venting!

'Umar B. Khatab, a renowned, prominent figure in the Islamic history, so admired by many muslims, me included for sure. Growing up, he was my favourite. Ranking him immediately after the prophet, despite Abu-Bakr's sweet kindness, but it is just that Umar's character was very close to what I like. This strenght, dareness, rebellious attitude all dissolving in a tremendous tenderness, attracted me. Right there. This contradiction. Beautiful. He indeed is a unique figure. However, to what degree was he right when tampering with the ahkam that were set by the prophet? Was he an innovative, brainer, an example to adapting the laws set by the Prophet to the current conditions? or did he open the door wide open for anyone to change as he pleases? Was his innovative nature and tailored judging manipulated by history especially during the Ummayad dynasty and used in a corrupted way? Was 'Umar, the law maker, betrayed by history?

You might want to read this on discussing the word brainwash, and this as a refrence to Dalulla's blog. I am taking a risk here writing this post. But I am really interested in knowing, who are you Dalulla. Not Dalulla in particular as a person, but this Dalulla Phenomena. No offense intended for sure. What is motivating you? What constructed your thoughts, books (what type, do you read in the first place), lessons, tapes, Iqra TV? Where did you get this information and style that you barrage any discussion with? Do you support Muslim brotherhood, or Ayman Nour? Are you feminist? Do you like Bin Laden or Zarqawi? Do you like the West, America? Are you with separating Religion from state and from politics? What do you think of the French revolution? Do you have college degree? Do you have hobbies not hubbies!...Do you READ? Do you READ? DO you READ? if yes, what do you read? Do you know that Islamic History studies exist? Did you ever have to write a short essay about 'what

Why is it that you have a problem with the reviving of Islamic practices? Or is it that you have so much trouble accpeting that there are obligations in Islam that you have trouble abiding to and that is why u have developed this very defensive and also offensive way of thinking? What you question and discuss in ur posts is always contradicting or questioning aggressively about things to do with Islam and those who want to apply it to their lives. You always have this mocking or sarcastic tone. Questiong? Don't we all? But at least we take our questions to those with more knowledge or balash ya setty la7san all those with knowledge are not good enough for you, then what and who is your source? Honestly the way you question things is really (not new to me certainly) very unlikely of a convinced, dedicated Moslem, by that i am not questioning your faith in Allah. And who am i to do so.. and am not doing so now either. But where or is there any love in you for anything in or about Isl

And what exactly does this word mean to them? Probably not just a word born on the spur of the moment on the comment area. But what kind of reform these people are looking forward to. Who are these people actually? Who are they in the discourse of what is shaping their identiy, thoughts, passion, fear, shame and personality? Neo-Muslim Social thought, can I call them that? Are they really muslims in the true sense of the word, or they are even something more global, something like: Neo-Socio-Religio-Political-Identity? Who are you people? Well, turning the question inward....if you are who you are, who are we then?

We*want to build an Islamic Umma like that which was during the time of the prophet and his companions. Dress code: Islamic Dress. Al-Ziy al-Islamee Law: Simply applying Shari3a Law of course, what else. Shops: Islamic. Schools: Islamic. Food: Islamic. Marriage: Islamic Music: Islamic. Riq waaa Duf balash violin please. Haram! Ayna3am. Christians & Jews: Islamic How? No clue! Just think 'REFORM'. Listen to more tapes. Belive me, Allah will save His Umma soon. Trust me on this. Jott verses from the Coran that you dont know its interpretation about punishment and threatn to scratch in more and more. Sure, someone will be nice enough to check the tafsir for all of us and let us know. Fellow muslim brothers are sweetheart, ehm, are good brothers. When? When the trees in Jerusalem will cry there is a jew hiding behind me, kill him Oh Muslim! * Based on my incarnation as a T.E.B. Oups, there is no incarnation in Islam! Dema.3ak, you sound like a T.E.B though

You are a ' typical Egyptian believer .' I saw it written at from cairo describing two of the fellow bloggers. Interesting statment. What does this statment mean in general? What is a typical believer? What is typical about it being typical? And jotting Egyptian does it add more aroma to the believer's character? Spice it up somehow? Personally speaking* I use the phrase 'typical Egyptian' whenever I mock some behaviour or style of thinking done by Egyptian of course! DAAA. Whenever in an argument or discussion and someone just say some lame answer or opinion, I would give him the phrase, or just hear it in my head. This phrase and its conotation I developed years back when I was living outside Egypt. For me I will call someone 'typical egyptian' when he/she just drop a dead body in the middle of an energetic room; bring discussion to an end; taking discussions to a 'safe mode'; he himself runing and function in the same 'safe mode' and t

So, I went to get Z.'s present last night. It is the hardest thing for me. Buying presents, ewh! It is really hard to know what people like, plus I have a different taste and style so I hate to get a present and latter find it in the attick, or not appreciated. That is probably why I dont like birthdays. I tend to just hide my gift with others, no card or anything. Just the present so as not to know whose present is this. Anyways, I dont like people getting me presents and I dont like to do the same. I prefer a nice party, nice dinner, theatre tickets...stuff of that sort. So, for Z. it is worse actually. I have to admit that. I keep thinking about his birthday present 3-4 months in advance. Take silent notes of what catches his attention and his comments wherever we go. I just want to get him the best thing, and at the same time something that he would truly like and use. So, here I was, standing infront of Sultan al-Ghury mosque, waiting for this anonymous guy to take me to the K

Loneliness defined. An emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely people often experience a subjective sense of inner emptiness or hollowness, with feelings of separation or isolation from the world. It is the worst feeling in the world to have a sense of loneliness. It is often more difficult to know that you have friends, family and people around you but as a matter of fact they are not, they are so distant. Maybe they physically exist and are there but they are emotionally absent. All i know is that i am disconnected and i don’t really belong. People might listen but don’t understand; you write, people read but they don’t comprehend; yo

'Seven depart & nine enters; two give succor but only one partakes.' What are they? This is a riddle, according to the jewish historical sources, posed by Queen of Sheba who chose to be dressed in white, upon her first visit to Solomon. As witty & intelligent as she was known to be, this riddle was not said to occupy time but it had implication. Some would go as far as turning this visit from a international politics to politics of gender. The riddle is a suggestive of the jewish tradition and society that dedicate essential importance to sexual relations that only lead to bearing and nurturing children. The white garment worn by Sheba was a symbol of her impurity, a period during which men are not supposed to be in contact with women. The deeper symbolic of menstruation is a missed oportunity for reproduction. That being the case, sexual relation with women during this period would thus be a waste of semens . According to the jewish traditions & culture, bearing ch

'Do you have convictions?' A friend of mine asked me this morning while chatting over coffee. Interesting question! I went round and round in circles trying to answer. From east to west. Improvising. Improvising. Indeed everyone has convictions, that is absolutely normal. However, the rigidity and the amount of convictions one have are what's important. It, no doubt, indicate how open a person is. Furthermore, how the person reached this convictions is another element we should pay attention to. The plupart of our convictions is based on hearing not testing and tasting. We heard it, liked how it sounded, saw everyone around doing and repeating it, so we follow. A yawning epidemic effect that circulates. Follow the majority because they just can't be wrong. Well, in most cases, especially recently, the majority is screwed. Why? Because it is a majority of a water buffalo rushing aimlessly towards a direction that they dont see. Their only assurance that they are in goin

Thanks God for everything You have been showing me today. I appreciate it, and am grateful to You and to Your servants. When a door is closed, another window is been opened. And I chose to recognize the window today!* Couldnt think of anything other than Abraham when thrown in the fire and Jabriel coming to him asking if he needed anything, to which Abraham answered: 'from you, No. But from Allah, He knows best my state.' I am not Abraham. But it is the same God. I am Here all the time. *In case you are wondering what is this window, when it is completed I will let you know.

Old topic I know. Some muslims when newly joining the 'religious right path' and start to show their dedication to Islam, the first things they do are: grow a beard and wear jalabiya. I am not generalizing but I have seen many cases so far. Excuse me, why? Why are growing a beard and wearing a dress symbols of anything. Is this considered sunna? I dont think so. In fact, NO. I don't see it as a sunna. I see it as sunna of the people of Mecca at the time of the prophet. I bet that Abu-Lahb was growing his beard too and was also wearing a Jalabiya. So it is not really a prophet's thing but a 'location', 'norm' dress code of a region.

Not the act, but the energy. A pattern of energy that is, in my opinion, created as a result of feeling 'no one will support me', 'I shouldn't expect things to stabilize for too long, I will be screwed', 'things when deteriorate will do that so suddenly that I will have no time to recover or do any act to prevent it.' The result: Black and White reactions. Extreme behaviour. Making a drama out of everything and every incident. Things, whatever it is, personal or career ones are seen as life or death cases. The reaction is either, you dont give a fuck and you go fight the demons and go again and again in this 'black hole', sudden death, or don't do any step without being totally secured, immuned and insured that nothing would go wrong. I am not going to be hurt. I am not going to be betrayed. I believe that life incidents do shape our character. Our fears. Our insecurities, and desires, and hence our actions and dealing with the outer world. And d

Can Islam as a religion be kept in the private sphere? Can Islam exist as the minorities' religion and thus again be kept in the private sphere? Or is Islam by default has to dominate any sphere it exists within and has to occupy, challenge its public sphere?

What is an 'Islamic School'? Why do people really consider sending their kids there? What for? What is special about these schools in a suppositly Islamic country ? Is there anything special about religion that this school offer? Does it have a specific syllabus where more islamic sciences are being taught? Or is it simply a seggregation of girls and boys, using the break to make them pray, protect them aganist mingling with Christians ,.....and this is what they have in mind when talking about islamic schools? Or could be simply that Christians have their own schools (which most its students are muslims and thus it is not an isolation ideology), and thus why not we do it too? But wait a minute, Islamic schools for sure won't accept christian students?! My two friends wanted to send their kids to an Islamic school. And we are talking about who is supposed to be open minded, American-educated people who are considered moderate intellects. These are my friends! Same class, s

حبك لزاهد فيك زل لك و زهدك في محب لك نقصان حظ

I attended a rehersal, the making of a new paper. It is not famous, and this issue I saw last night is issue no.2, but it is good stuff. 'Al-Muwaten Al-Misry'.

'يا من كان امره بين الكاف والنون' I just remembered this phrase this morning. It is an interesting one. Not exactly sure what it means. It is connected with the finale of surat yassin, '...and if He wants something, He just say BE and it BE.' So this might be the spin on the verse. The reading of the esoteric meaning; reading between the words, the letters in an attempt to understand the divine intention and mystery that I happen to see it as a map that could lead you to the treasure. Since the treasure is infinite, so will be the roads on the map and thus the ways to the treasure. So what really happens between Kaf & Nun? This minute moment in there, what does it hold? Could be that we actually live between these two ...., two what? Letters?! Do I too have a smaller version of Kaf & Nun ability. A sub KUN?