COMMON-ism

'What?' I exclaimed to my friend while having Iftar at a lebanese place. He said, 'Not COMMUNISM but commonism. Comes from 'common'. Everyone just doing what is common without thinking to differ.'

Interesting! I thought to myself. Yes we are so fond of doing the 'common'. The norm. What we found our parents and those around us do. Just imitate. Sometimes we ourselves are not convinced of what we do, but still we do it. When asked why, we just surprisingly become talented at inventing reasons, usually boiling down to claiming its tight strong bond to our islamic, arabic, egyptian, society, culture, family norms and traditions. Of course, the more the religious factor the more you have a point that silence your contender. And this is when I use some of my often sayings

Any secret? It is easier. Safer. Everyone does it, then it must be right. I am no genuis. Who am I to have a point of view or see differently or even think. Conform else you are a rebel. REBEL? Yes. and then you enter in aisles of 'why do you want to challenge. Why want to be different. What is that they you are trying to prove?' Well, no one is trying to prove anything. Just want to feel some relevance to who I am inside, not who you think I am or should be, or shoult think. Experiencing my basic elementary right of acknolwedging who I am inside. Not just shutting the real uique self away, and by time lose touch and eventually start carrying a burden.

I salute Mo when he says that he writes to know what he thinks. Yes. Speak up so you know what you think. Say concrete statments. I personally keep reiterating my statments saying, 'I mean......' and go on and on trying to really get out what I have inside. Speaking up, of course in a healthy ambiance, facilitates our access to our real thoughts. Sometimes I find myself saying 'common' statments, stopped by my partner, I re-iterate, rephrase, reshuffle, resharpen, rethink, repierece through my own thinking until I find exactly what I want to say or what I mean. It sure needs a trained ear, trust, understanding, space and patience from your conversation partner to really want to take himself there to what you 'really' want to say.

I have learnt, from here and there, that I just probe. Ask and let the other-selective other- tells me what he/she wants to really say. It is not easy. I am not easily satisfied with answers. I say, 'But.... what do you think if....', ' what about X how does this fit in your context.' It is great of course depending on who you do it with. With the majority I stop at just first level of probing, with few others, can think of 2, we can keep going on and on. Of course, it is mutual probing. I usually say silly shallow answers with people I don't know. Just what will pass me by the conversation. The majority will just nod. Cool. Very selective will pay attention and ask and probe. And I go on. So it is really mutual.

So what I want to say, very few of us really listen to what others say, to what they themselves say, to themselves. We just want a packaged answer. Just the common statments scattered here and there. If we happen to stumble upon uncommon answers we categorize them under another category that we unconsciously classify as 'philisophical and I am busy now dont have time for this now. But yea yea interesting. We can talk about that later.'

Reason? We are fine like that, why complicate our lives. Well, maybe there is a point here, but is living like everyone else is the purpose your name is different, your spirit is different, your day of birth is different...... Are all this an identification of just another fellow. A replica of me and of others. Just tags. No content. I doubt!