BLAAA

Life can not be that complicated, yet can not be that simple either. Confusing. Yes. Very actually. Born. Connect. Get attached on purpose. How can not you be. They die. Pain. You do not learn. Search for another one to attach to. Fall in love. This time your choice or so you think or even do not think. Something happens or nothing happens. You do not want to detach. Can not. Feel grabbed like a dead animal. Revolve and spin in their space. Reminding yourself that you want to be free. They tell you to go. Go. Go away. You beg to be a servant. But they are no masters, you know. And indeed you are no servant. Yet you act as one. They abuse you. You abuse yourself I suppose. You blame it all on them. They see you as fool. You see them as idiots. Both of you are idiots.

You live in patterns. Call it energy patterns or life patterns. Pattern why need to define the type. Things are repeated. Things in your life I mean. You fall for the wrong people. You learn. Swear you were wrong. Never will do this again. You are kidding me. You do it again. This time it is more fun. Watching a movie. Seeing yourself sneaking to doing it again. Know it is wrong. Recognize the pain. Taste the pain & regret before things happen, yet you keep going. Doing it. Happy for the feeling you get, yet, know it is all fake. I have been there. I have been swaped by guilt feeling before. I know its ending. Well, sounds like I like to see things end. Is it a yoga concept? Things must end before a new one starts. Dunno. For sure, something will start. But to my surprise, it is the one thing that had just died.

Comments

LouLou said…
haal,

"Well, sounds like I like to see things end. Is it a yoga concept? Things must end before a new one starts."

You're starting to sound like me:)
Liking things to end so something new can start.

But here you were the one telling me not to do that!

You're confusing me kida. 7aram 3laiki. More Scorpio smokescreens?

Wish you find your fulfillment ya haal. And stay gold.

Btw you've been tagged .
10/12/2005 06:46:00 am
haal said…
Nope, I said 'before' a new thing starts.

Tagged yes. I will do it. Just let this post end so that I start your tag!

:)
10/12/2005 08:48:00 am
Al Sharief said…
lost again? I don'think so.
"Confused".Yes, and that's Ok
because you make your "endless chase" beautifuly meaningful.
Regardless of lessons learnt or NOT.
I bet you, there is a different meaning every time you repeat the pattern. Different joy. Different pain.

Confusion, random, and disorder are all an important concept in "Natural Laws". At times the utmost disorder is the new start?!

"But to my surprise, it is the one thing that had just died." I desperately hope you refering to the "end" of your post by that? please make smile :)

Your"BLAAA" - Cycles of Extrmity
deserve a second "Wellcome Back" for a new beginning...
10/12/2005 02:33:00 pm
haal said…
but dont forget the pattern my dear Sharief. The pattern is killing me. I think i need to rejuvenate my energy field to clear it from this pattern. Dont u think!Maybe an intention. A strong one!
10/12/2005 03:54:00 pm
Rain said…
Pattern yeah, I've studied pattern recognition as well... I can predict it from a distance.
Sometimes I have the feeling that my life is like a planet, revolving around a fixed point, repeating events ...seasons change yet start a new cycle... all over again and again.
10/12/2005 09:54:00 pm
MoonLightShadow said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
10/13/2005 02:11:00 am
MoonLightShadow said…
Don’t they say history repeats itself. A certain pattern which is repeated on and on till it’s the end!

Despite my believe in this, I fool myself and think that this pattern might change. It has never changed. I do the same mistakes over and over, and I never learn the lesson!
10/13/2005 02:13:00 am
Al Sharief said…
conver The Pattern to "Routine Pleasures" with passionate strong intentions. Rejuvenation is a super dooper good idea!
What u do?!
10/14/2005 11:00:00 pm
Anonymous said…
Do you know about our specie's ZERO REFUSE POPOULATION POINT? blacky@gv.net
3/29/2008 06:16:00 am
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