A Message from within

Twosret was first regent for her son Siptah jointly with Chancellor Bay. When the former died, she took the throne for herself, assuming the rule of a Pharaoh and titulary of a Queen (King's Wife). She may have continued to share the rule with Chancellor Bay. Regardless as to whether or not he officially shared the rule, he probably was the power behind the throne. It is believed by some that Bay had Twosret executed when she gave him the keys to the treasury. This coming info is provided by Diana Petersen--Thanks Diana TWOSRET (Tausert) (19th Dynasty c.1187-1185 BC) As with Nitocris and Sobeknofru above, Twosret's reign was during troubled times and lasted less than three years. She was the last Pharaoh of the 19th dynasty. Tausert was the very beloved wife of Seti II even though she was not his first wife and it is believed that it was Seti II who ordered her tomb to be built in the Valley of the Kings; an honour given to very few queens. Again the evidence is sketchy, howe...

I was reading Atallah's when I found these words. انا لا أشكو، ففى الشكوى إنحناء و أنا نبض عروقى كبرياء by Kamel el-Shinawy. Can one really live without complaining? I don't know if we can do that. Someone always tells me that you should know exactly where to direct your complains. Don't waste your time asking homage from the servants, go to the owner. Go directly to the source. He would know how to help, otherwise it is a waste of time. I agreed back then, but still had problems. Now I don't agree, and still have the same problems. I tend to conclude that these problems are my destined luggage that I need to get rid of but they are deeply rooted in me. I had to take a dive down. And yes, there is Boss, who isn't really a Boss. P.S. Some of the comments exchanged down here are meant to be funny. Nothing personal. Please continue with the discussion. My pleasure.

Adam and the issue of creation come up again and again. This time through the censored book of Shahin, abi Adam. Out of Eden is an article discussing the history of this issue. Mainly the history of the author, Abd al-sabur Shahin. Back to the issue of Adam and the creation. Sidi al-Shadhuli always says that Adam was the first insan and he was the father of all, and the picture of all the material world. He was the first in the body and he is a part of the Light of Allah, but the father of Adam, and of everything, in the spirit, is Mohammad. Why Mohammad? Because he is the complete face of Allah and from his Existence came the complete world. The prophet said, 'there are thousands of worlds like the world of Adam, and everyone of them knows me, and I know them, and I am the Mercy of them all.' Well, I don't really know. I have no clue whether this is right or wrong. Maybe just another super prophet image that we tend to create and stapple to our prophet to just give him mo...

Feeling lonely in the midst of everything. Carried the mountain spirit with me to the very downtown where all the lights are roaring for attention. Feeling sad in the midst of all the clubs and night life. Want to just take a walk over the bridge. Stand in silence. Just listen to yourself. Treat yourself to a healing and use your partner's breath for going deeper inside. Now you are assured you are sustained, and thus feel safe to wonder inside yourself. With every breath, with every layer that is peeled, with every veil that is lifted, you will find a different H waiting for you. Some will be shy, another one open, conservative, happy, firey, coward, weak, strong, caring, agressive...... Like cards. Everyone knows her turn very well. Play very well. Professional. Knows you inside out. Will always want to keep you under their spill and control. Doesnt want to show you the real face of yourself. It is all illusion. You are an illusion. You don't exist in the first place. Who am ...

Inheritance in Islam is such a problematic topic when people talk about it. The fact that Islam demands that woman take half the man is driving women crazy, ehm , and some men too. Will elaborate later but.... If the Coran gave you 1/2 what the man takes when you are staying home, then logically speaking, you deserve NOTHING if you decided to go to the workplace!? Can men go argue like that? Well, if you think this is a valid deduction, then I will stand by you. Yes, aganist all odds, I stand with Applying the Shari'a to its core, yes, including cutting the theif's hands too. Mohamed from cairo, aren't you going to reflect on Amin, H. section on cutting the hand in Islam? I think this will be interesting.

Try to relax. Take a deep breath and try to vent off. Com'on it is easy. Just try it. Good girl, good girl. abounoo bunoo bunoo.... I know, with all the kefaya boycotting business, and the fake voting farse play you must be a under some kind of pressure.

Did the Meccans use religion for trading reasons? Could it be that they weren't idols worshippers, but just faked it for trading purposes? In other words, just a users of others ignorance?

I can't sleep. Moving from one place to the other. Finally landed in the small living room. I opened the windows, and enjoyed the nice breeze while sleeping on the coach. Still I can't sleep. There are lots of things contributing to my inability to sleep. 1) I drank 2 cans of coke. Enough to keep me awake. 2) I drank 1 espresso with milk. 3) The smell of the raw coffee we bought today is so strong. Filling the house. Can't wait for tomorrow to drink another espresso. 4) Too excited to meet a relative of Taha Hussien tomorrow. I am actually reading a book of his.

Are you bent mutaharira or muhafza? Not sure what does this question mean? Not even sure if I am this or that? I don't really know. I am extremely both. Or is it both extremely?! Well, I am extremely conservative and extremely open, both at the same time. Funny! Not really, but confusing actually, to me and to others. And with confusion comes sadness, and with sadness comes the urge to just disappear. Last night, I returned to M.'s apartment around 2 in the morning. I was attending this gathering at A.'s place. I was supposed to leave with M. but the conversation got more and more interesting and I just decided to stay till the end of the conversation. No sooner had it started than it glided to talking about religion in general, morals, human nature, and all these juicy stuff that I love tremendously. Of course, talks about islamic history came was hit upon more than once, critique to hadith, koran gathering, and the like were all touched upon. I don't have a solid opin...

I am glad I decided to leave. I was on the fringe of changing my plans and just cancel the whole trip. Change is always a good thing to do, and which I in particular love to do every so often. This time I needed it, and still do. I had a rough week in Cairo, or so I thought, not really sure which is the truth. Things in many ways kept switching and flipflopping from one state to the other, including my moods. One second up another down. Before I left, I just felt like going for a walk around the area. I found myself crossing over to aziz uthman street. Strange street actually. It starts with a totally sketchy neighbourhood, sketchy slackers and then bit by bit the street just clears out and nice villas and buildings start to appear, until it ends with this famous garden. It is not the best street here, but for me it is one of my favourite streets especially at night. Building number 1 is where Ed. Sa'id used to live, next to it and on the corner is Haleem's famous apartment, so...

Indeed it is getting really boring . I totally agree. Not blogging in particular that is getting boring, but this whole life play in fact. I mean, this stupid struggle to get things to work in a smooth way; to have people, including myself, to act naturally with no complications or prepared agenda; to understand what the hell is going on in their minds, even the closest persons you think you know. I wish I could just stop speculating. I am pretty good in that. But I am not good with my reactions. I tend to follow my planet, Mars, destruction and not worry abit about rebuilding the whole thing. Later. Later. Don't worry about that. I think I just am not good with persuasion. Not patient to pull and push. Like things pretty straight forward. Little words can solve the whole problem for me. Just tell me what you want and get done with the whole business. I understand, always will, but never arouse my doubt and never leave me to hunt details down. My detective mind will always speculat...

Veiled girl song with this Elvis like boy is horrible. I just didn't like the girl, her moves or her facial expressions. Tight green shirt, tight jeans with a headgear. What a melange! A tasteless one. I also saw Ruby's song, the one where she was wearing an orange outfit. Interesting! Green, orange, veil, silver engagment ring. What is the message? Is it a religio-political one as well? Well, 'orange' seems to be the 'Colour of the year'. Politics and media dominating colour.

First time to go to BlueBoat or Nile boat or Blue Nile.Oups, forgot the name. Well, it is something along these lines. I had supper with Z. at applebees. Nice place actually. Good food. Can be better for sure. Last time I ate applebees was with my mom in the States. Anyways, this is the second night in a row that I ate many supper(s) in the same day with less than an hour in between. In fact, last night I had late lunch at home, had an early supper at peking, and then a late supper at seqoia. 4 hours and I ate 3 times. Peking was the worst of all. The company was boring and I wasn't in the mood to chineese. Seqoia was the best food. I now love the place. We left applebees after almost 4 hours. We had a nice talk. New job, politics, a little political gossips and ended with talking about religion. Everytime we discuss religion I am left with this floating feeling.... Am I really agnostic? Very interesting feeling, not sure if I like it or not. Rossetti can you give me a hand with th...

what happened to you? Indeed when one is not happy in his intimate relationships, be it with his husband, fiance, boyfriend, it does reflect on how one sees the world. I understand your suffering, dilemma and heavy load. However, I don't understand why you keep insisting on standing where you are; comparing yourself with others; putting extra load on H.; refusing to help yourself and your whole small family; listening to our advice; enjoying being a perfect victim. S. It does reflect on how you act when you are around us. Last night, all your statments were nouvel to me. You want to deliver us a message that you are still S., we know that my dear. Just relax. Appreciate who you are, and you would never care if you wear from zara or valentino, CD, or whatever. We love you. Don't like to see the perplexing look on A.'s face after every statment you make. Don't like to have to defend your reactions infront of her in private. Just want the light hearted, airheaded friend on...

'Generally speaking, there is nothing in man that does not also exist in higher stages of animals, vertebrates, and insects. There is the desire to satisfy needs and join in societies, and some form of economy.' Ali Izetbegovic , quoted by Mohamed, my next door blogger. Interesting statment. I am just wondering, if this statment should be written in a different way. Very roughly, something like, 'Man's nature encompasses/has all the stages of animals, angels and Jin.'

Never thought I was going to enter this islamic store, or so does everyone call it in the area. Al-tawheed we al-Nour. It was quite an experience. I am heading to France this week so M. asked me for hunting pants that she can wear under her cloths in winter. She wanted them in pure cotton, and pointed me to this tawheed place. So, there I went. Upon entering the place, I thought I was transformed into this new world. A hive, except it is a lazy one. Only crowded. All the sellers are men with the praying sign on their forehead, some with long beards, the plupart majority wearing greyish short pants and weird colour shirts. You can't miss but feel that they all look the same. Of course, the sound of 'iza'et el coran al kareem' was screaming everywhere. Coran, ahadeeth, preaching, all what you want. So I headed to the women section, expecting the sellers to be women. Veiled women. Munaqaba women. Whatever. It is women section for god's sake. Never expected a man to s...

I am in the mood to be playful today. I had a lovely friday and it is reflecting on my mood. Funny this mood thing. I was invited to attend E.'s, Z.'s diving buddy, surprise birthday party this morning. Since wednesday I was debating with myself whether to go or not. I felt a little awkward going there. Not because of anything other than the women/girls are a little weird to my taste. They are absolutely fine with themselves, but they are just not my style. At the same time, I wanted to go because I love the topic discussed there and the fun debates. They are lots of fun to be around. So I was between two desires. Anyways, I asked my replica friend, Mae to help me with this matter. She was cool. She suggested that I send a message to Z. and tell him that I feel awkward coming, and wait for his reply. I did. I said to myself, if he encourages me to go, I will go. If not, then this is what I wanted and I can relax home. But I guess I was mistaken. Z. simply replied back, 'Ok....

Unbeatable Brel. Found myself listening to his JoJo, over and over again. My friends wonder why I like JBrel so much. He can be a little depressing. In fact too depressing. Well, I don't know. He is real to me. I mean, he does sing sad songs but it is so real. It is so him. Whenever I listen to any song I feel that he is speaking about himself. Putting himself, his sadness out to the whole world. That whatever story he is singing about, happened to him in real life. Makes me feel that I know my Jacques. My sensitive, sad Jacquie. My sensitive, sad Haal. When I connect with this me , I am more real. Jojo, Ce soir comme chaque soir Nous refaisons nos guerres Tu reprends Saint-Nazaire Je refais l'Olympia Au fond du cimetière Jojo, Nous parlons en silence D'une jeunesse vieille Nous savons tous les deuxQue le monde sommeille Par manque d'imprudence Six pieds sous terre Jojo tu espères encore Six pieds sous terre tu n'es pas mort

European colonization sucks big time. Just flipping through pictures of the aboriginal people of Australia. These original people were all dark-skinned people. What happened to them? What happened to the original owners of the land? I am reading this nice book, yep, that Mae took its last copy. Cool book.

Do I have a place? I search and search. Dont seem to find one. Am I longing for one? I am dying for one. I know my sadness stems deep down into my heart and soul. The sadness is born with me. Hard for anyone to see and understand. I wonder, why God chose me to be sad? Is there a purpose? Will I meet another sad person, born like me, joined me up there, sat next to me, with whom I will one day unite? Will this be possible? Possible? To find peace. Hope. Comfort. To walk hand in hand. To understand when he talks. To grasp all the said and unsaid. To feel home in his hug. And be able to express love without reservation. To see my smile. Watch my eyes. Watch me. Sacrifice for me. Want me. Will there anyone who would want me? Wont intimidate him? He'll appreciate me and want more of me. Will enjoy my company and I be his support and companion. Eat. Laugh. Pray. together. Enjoy to the max. I know there is this one. Somewhere. Where? I do not know. When or what. But I will wait. Patiently...

I just noticed, tomorrow is Thursday, 5.5.05. I am sure this friend of mine will send us a message at 5:55 pm pointing us to this coincident. In fact, some people, including myself, like to play with numbers combination. My cousin, last year, did his engagement party on 7.7 at 7pm. I thought it was silly to arrange it this way. 5.5.05.....an old friend's birthday.

So, the all girls day happened today. It was cool. Initially I didn't want to go out. I wanted to spend some time with ma, watch T.V., eat, sleep on the coach, chit-chat. A. kept calling. On my cell, on my home phone. Crazy this girl when it comes to going out. Very swaying. Well, she is my fun partner for more than a decade now. So I couldn't say No. I was all dressed up in a blink and waited for her to pass by. I was so hungry and thus wanted to go eat in a decent place. Sequonte, or whatever the name is, was the place. Well, I initially hated going there. Last time I went with A. and S. I didn't enjoy it a bit. The ambiance was strange, mood was screwed, and the company sucked that I couldn't sit still and kept zooming in and out. Anyways, A. convinced me in another blink. So we went. We looked kinda funny with both of us, by mere chance, dressed the same. White shirt on beige linen pants. Even our outfit matched the decor. I ordered couple of plates. I was so hungr...

Indeed an interesting place. For some reason, I just felt like going there tonight. I was planning to go to an AUC concert with A. and S. but the latter cancelled, so we all called the whole thing off. I think this worked best for A. and myself actually. We didn't really feel like going, but just were doing it as a social gesture for S. who desperately wanted to go out, girls only! Ok. I am not a social gesture girl all the time, but I have been ignoring S. for a long time now that I felt guilty. I mean, if she is my friend then I shouldn't be avoiding her. Anyways, she cancelled it. Instead of the concert, I walked to Diwan and sat there for a while, browsed through the history books there. I have never done this before, this browsing attitude, but it appealed to me tonight. Could be because I couldn't get myself to read as of late for some reason. Need to change places and get off the routine of my reading habbit. Anyways, I found my victim waiting for me at Diwan's ...

.... what exactly? Maybe more later!

Location: Cairo, Falaki Street, my car Weather: Midspring night, cool weather Occasion: almost 3 hours of talking after watching Silly Goose Question: 'What will you raise your kids to believe in then ?' A finale statment to a long conversation.' It is one of these questions that no particular answer is needed or expected. Something to contemplate upon. A kind of question that seems so natural after the kind of discussions we have; after almost all our discussions; after almost all my contemplations alone or with others. 'I don't really know. Believe in themselves, maybe!!' Can this really be an answer? Is this what we really need as a necessity before choosing what we should or shouldn't believe in? I would like to think so. Enough slogans under any name, be it God, prophets, saviours, pharos, paradise, hell, haram, halal... and the list keeps getting longer and longer every second. Reducing man's clean fitra to an animal one. Nothing will stop man exc...