5 May 2005


Do I have a place? I search and search. Dont seem to find one. Am I longing for one? I am dying for one. I know my sadness stems deep down into my heart and soul. The sadness is born with me. Hard for anyone to see and understand. I wonder, why God chose me to be sad? Is there a purpose? Will I meet another sad person, born like me, joined me up there, sat next to me, with whom I will one day unite? Will this be possible?

Possible? To find peace. Hope. Comfort. To walk hand in hand. To understand when he talks. To grasp all the said and unsaid. To feel home in his hug. And be able to express love without reservation. To see my smile. Watch my eyes. Watch me. Sacrifice for me. Want me. Will there anyone who would want me?

Wont intimidate him? He'll appreciate me and want more of me. Will enjoy my company and I be his support and companion. Eat. Laugh. Pray. together. Enjoy to the max.

I know there is this one. Somewhere. Where? I do not know. When or what. But I will wait. Patiently if I can. Silently. I have been so for long. Searching. He will find me for sure. Pray to find me no doubt. Will find me. God willing. Will want me and wont leave me again.

Again? yes. We found one another there. I am sure we will find one another again here.

What if? I do not want to think of what if. I will go on with this hope. I am sure god does want to surprise me. I am optmistic.

One request God: Do not be harsh on me, Please. make the path easy for us. Please. If we both long for one another, allow the meeting. Our meeting. If the choice is right, we will both meet You.


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