19 Sep 2008

CASPER

You smile. Laugh. Eat. Say stories. Share..... but when they look away, down to their plates, and in the midst of your laughs and giggling,.... you find yourself look away. with the corner of your heart. to this place. to this face. to those moments...... and weep. remove the tear. of course the laughing tears. to them. but to you....

you immediately know you are not happy. and also realize that you were not happy there too. only clinging to a projection that has no existance only in your imagination. and between the reality and the projection, you reject both. need neither.


and you find yourself excusing yourself to go wash your face. and you keep on weeping. and the more you wipe away the tears, endless come out again. look in the mirror, and force a smile. you do not even perfect it because the fans are too naiive to see the reality. to pierce and recognize. they just are content with the mask. and it is not even a good mask. but this is their ability. and this is the cheap price you pay for the mask.

but regardless the cheapness of everything. the price is huge. Priceless

8 Comments:

Blogger Vile said...

I think people are busy... people are busy with their own masks, that's why they don't see yours.

9/19/2008 01:09:00 pm  
Blogger haal said...

or theirs!

point is, there will always be a mask. but at times you want it off. want to have one layered- mask. u want to know u can take it off. else, its thickness will suffocate you

but u can not. discouraged at every corner

9/19/2008 01:14:00 pm  
Blogger Zee Puppette said...

But why do we create masks at the first place? why can't we be angry when we are? happy when we are? why do we have to pretend to be someone - or something for that matter - that we're not?
Everyone pretends the whole time, including myself, but I can't get myself to understand the logic behind it.

9/19/2008 03:05:00 pm  
Blogger Nag said...

"you immediately know you are not happy. and also realize that you were not happy there too. only clinging to a projection that has no existance only in your imagination. and between the reality and the projection, you reject both. need neither."

I extremely related to this part. Extremely.. In fact, I related to the whole experience.. I was there yesterday and before.

weird.

9/19/2008 04:06:00 pm  
Blogger Vile said...

zee, your anger is a mask, it's a mask that is succeeded by another one of serenity when you get over it.
your happiness is a mask you replace when sadness settles in.
it is true though that we usually wear one on top of another. It is too risky to show just the bare minimum... it's like going out naked.

haal, I know what you'll find if you take all the masks off... a complete blank, and that's it. All that we are, all that we show, are just a series of masks right after one another. without them we are just a big (...........)
Which one is our true self? which one defines who we are? which one is genuine?
I was right about the "history", wasn't i?

9/20/2008 04:44:00 am  
Blogger Cave said...

... they don't know what they are missing ... they don't deserve what they are missing ...

they are content with a cheap mask? i bet they would faint if they recognize a well-crafted mask.

The true thing? not only do they not deserve, they cannot handle.

9/20/2008 05:13:00 pm  
Blogger haal said...

vile, yes you were right about the history. Totally. :)

And if I take the mask off, I will be a fun person actually :) or maybe a really boring, silent person. never know.

9/20/2008 06:29:00 pm  
Blogger haal said...

others know what they were missing, and miss it still :)

9/21/2008 12:01:00 am  

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