12 Sep 2008

ANCIENT

When you look in the mirror and only see a remains of someone you used to recognize. When you not look again because you do not want to recognize. The recongition had brought you endless wells depth of pain and sadness more than you ever wanted. You run away from the recognizing. Hide the immediately tears in the eyes and ignore. Be indifferent. Not to anyone. This is a year old stage. But be indifferent to yourself. This is the new one. I never thought I can do that. And I really did not. It just creeps on you. A must-do stage else you will kill yourself. The thought visited a lot.... so this was the counter reaction. The mercy hand that extends to transform you to the indifferent type to save you. And it did. In so doing, it brings the end to everything. Tighten the fuel so that the flame burns less. saving you from burning yourself because people like me do that all the time.. But since this is life, we learn from our mistakes. But people like us dont learn. If they learn this means they are digging something else. Their grave maybe. And even that they do silently. Like all their self-life. They love silently. Suffer silently. Think silently. And also die silently. All the time un-noticed. And this is the bles that comes from the only thing they can not do, and also do very well.

They close their eyes. But unfortunately not to dream.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

... they close their eyes so they can also cry silently

9/13/2008 01:39:00 am  
Blogger haal said...

Horrible feeling.... but some does not need to close their eyes to cry.

But even that crying part has already passed. replaced by indifference and sarcasm. which is good. more comfortable

9/13/2008 08:14:00 am  

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