8 Sep 2008


It was as if every element but my own nature had contributed to create this life. Who had made the marriage decision? who had desired the children?

I could remember the first impetus, the first choice, the first desire for these, and how they came to be. I, guided by my own background, habits, blindness in regard to my own desires, had made all this and then lived in it, but it had not been made out of the deeper element of my own nature.

I am indeed a stranger in it. Just a stranger! And my own nature is still imprisoned.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

You will reach the same conclusion.

9/09/2008 09:26:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hence our everlasting longing; sometimes to something we don't even know. May be to our source. May be to our destination. Or may be to both; our destiny.

Only at times, we're touched by a merciful hand that assures us our longing, though for what we don't know, is for something that does exist.

A hand delivering a message of hope. A message from as far as the cosmic darkness, but as close as a message from within.

9/10/2008 01:23:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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9/10/2008 09:22:00 am  
Blogger haal said...

What you said reminded me of someone...

But to be honest, i do not think there is anything called 'merciful hand' and this 'longing' is an invention of our own imagination for a purely personal reasons.

Well, everything is a creation of our imagination to entertain us. And since pain of separation is in our genes, then we search for anything that can help us go there again.

9/11/2008 10:59:00 am  
Blogger haal said...

I have to admit.... nothing can substitute a lonely soul.. not even God.

and also, a company, wife, husband kids.... wont do it also.

at least for me. I tried both. Neither worked.

9/11/2008 11:01:00 am  

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