14 Sep 2008

OK

I guess I am annoyed.

That's why I drove after breakfast to Starbucks for coffee. The weather irritates me. There is a smell in me that annoyes me. Maybe the perfume is annoying. Well, could be. But i was pulling my legs to go. Did not want to stay, and did not want to leave. But I did. Must.

After a long traffic jam, I parked. Went inside. I stood in a long line. I looked like an alien. I can tell people where looking to me. I stare to the front. Waited in the line but could not stand still. I go back and forth. I do not even know what I want to drink. Cant drink coffee. They dont have anything else. No juice. Water? No. What? what? What? I actually do not want anything. Why am I here? No clue.

There are like 4 infront of me. Telling her about her dentist appointment she just had. Irritating. I accidently made a stupid eye contact with a freak.... and he kept staring... UFFF... Not today please.

My turn coming... but I leave. i dont want to stay there. Too crowded. Too noisy. Too unorganized. And above all I dont want to drink coffee. I want some silence.

I walked back. Drove to Diwan heliopolis. I took the side streets all the way from Starbucks to Diwan. Interesting ride actually. Cool, dark streets with old villas. I reached diwan. Thank god, almost empty. I sat on the sofa infront of the AC. I was going to suffocate. I really could not breathe. I read a bit. Then drove to this old villa next to Beirut street. Deserted. I walked there. i had this feeling... but I just approached it. I sat next to the fence. Feel strange.... Had this thought.....

I really dont want to answer the phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going crazy with the sick attachment to my places!!! Feel as if I will be taken away from myself.

5 Comments:

Blogger marooned84 said...

hold on..

9/16/2008 01:03:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your places are attached to you too ...

"Al amaken" is my night whisper to you ... http://gulf.salmiya.net/songs/abdo/

and please, ...

9/16/2008 02:02:00 am  
Blogger haal said...

I am holding on! What else can I do. Just watch the suffocation come and go.... and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But it is life and days are going to be folded one after the other until all ends.

Please what? :)

Your words are kind actually. Thanks.

9/16/2008 03:33:00 am  
Blogger haal said...

nothing will ever wither... not even the perfume.

9/16/2008 03:51:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watch out, sometimes light at the end of the tunnel is an approaching train:))

9/16/2008 07:50:00 am  

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