A Message from within

everything stays the same. I came back from somewhere only to find many changes on the blogsphere. From bloggers moving out, to another going to stand at new dimension; from a new bride having an abnormal nervous system activity to finding the best medicine in his arms; from donkey sink saw to rose babbling ; from rubbing mint to rubbing aganist her worn self ; from the wise changing his heart to me trying to overcome a tensed night aftermath; from liberating Sania while playing squash to liberating himself from a dense void ; from struggling with time to wanting to be recognized through her days ; from having God on her 'mind' to attempting to having a job on her mind; from Bergo's shoes selling protocols to our zionist cousin's protocols; from gharbeiya lana at kefaya to the same old bullshit . What else is new? I guess nothing.

'Eye donkey sink saw' Stolen from the usual time dimension. Boarders & boundaries collapsed back then. Check points recognized. Rivers flow. Rich silence enveloped the scene. Nervous smiles. Naughty laughs filled the air. Trembling happiness. Complete easiness. Bad food. Childish choices. Everyone was leaving when we entered. Shared food. Shared hidden thoughts. Unspoken promises. Mutual recognition of something developing. Wished time would freeze. Wished we would have stayed more before we both had to go. Said goodbye. Eyes flickered. My hair smelled like your car. Didn't sleep that night. Remembered the little kiss. Felt it and kept asking Why. Told me to just feel it. I did. Do not ruin the moment. I loved the moment. Put your mind to rest. It didn't exist. I was happy. Something told me this would be the last happy night. And it was really. Next time was not the same. My little mind starved to duplicate what we had that other night. Our efforts failed. Everythi...

I feel a total mental and spiritual blockage. Can't think. Yawning. Tired. Sleepy. Bored. Want to just sit somewhere and space out. Think about nothing. Talk about nothing. Have a nice company next to me with whom I do the talking with the eyes. Nice music. Nice movie. Nice musical or theatrical play. Something to wake me up. To inflict passion in me of any sort. I am dead. Like my Nietzsche I guess.

Place: 40th floor lounge. Grand Hyatt. One of those comfortable coaches. Time: 10:30 till 12:30 am, Wednesday. State: Full after dinner upstairs. Ambiance: Relaxing except of some loud voice and not a so professional piano player. Smell of cuban cigar, intentionally blown in my face. I love the smell but can't smoke them. Event: Dinner & Cigar night out.

I just realized that I have changed my Friday routine for four succeeding weeks so far. It is not a 'routine' in the boring sense of the word, but the 'calm', 'relaxing' side that a routine can bring to one's state. I don't remember how I came about to invent the new routine, but it happened. One place pulled the other and they all fall in place with no effort or planning on my part. They fit perfectly that I found myself leaving Cilantro, naturally going to Diwan and then normally still walking to the Deals pasta place. All three places are in the same area. 2 minutes away from one another forming a triangle with Deals being their pivot. It feels like the three places are from the same family each running his own business. The harmony between them, of course as I personally experience it, is interesting. In fact, I actually see familiar faces doing the same routine. Not particularly the exact cylce or order, but bits and pieces of it. Half of it at time...

Sayyid Qutb invoked the concept of human nature, Fitrah, as an essential component of his discourse. Unlike early 19th century modernist thinkers who viewed human nature negatively, Qutb considered it a positive source of energy that could possibly lead to happiness. He believed that man is a privileged human, gifted with a Fitrah that is fundamentally good and constructive on the condition that his actions confirms with the pure nature of his Fitrah. Should ‘man’ respect his Fitrah’s impulses, it would guide him to a balanced and sustained state of happiness. However, what is the relation between man and his knowledge of his Fitrah. Man’s sole and only guidance to understanding his Fitrah is through divine intervention. According to Qutb philosophy, between Fitrah and the natural order obtains a divinely ordained harmony; between man and the natural order may obtain happiness and harmony, or misery and discord depending on how man chooses to act. Between man and his Fitrah, there is i...

Is it a relation with an object? Is it an act of pleasure driven from repetition, familiarity with the known, the 'joy of routine'? Or there is something else. Sex can be done when we are feeling bored. Probably? A substitute feeling just to replace the boredom we are feeling. Something like eating or drinking while watching a boring seires that we have seen zillion times on television. We have nothign else to do, so why not just watch it again, in this case, have sex again. Better than nothing. A substitute? Probably, again? Probably will continue! Interesting post at Zoss's on a book by Rebecca Goldstein. *The great Alberto Moravia novel, 'Boredom'