THE HOURS

Great movie. Very real and it is all about women. It is not that I am by any mean a feminist. Not from far or close. Do not even know what does being a feminist mean other than fighthing for their rights, which until this moment, I dont really know what are these rights! Are not 'female' human to start with? It is just that I am generally aganist classifications, let alone classification of me. This or that. I am neither. I am just Am. Genderless!

I read once, cant remember where, that our soul is genderless. And just the slightest manipulation of X and Y makes the outer shell male or female. But in reality we are genderless... or as the book 'woman' tried to invain convience me, that we are all females, until the Y chromosome decide to danglingly portray itself. All organs are prepared to have the new comer female. And in that there is the power of being a female. Well, I am not sure if I am convienced, or even not convinced. Just interesting to know and good to save it and maybe one day I will use this idea to raise it.

I cant deny that, and because of my dear friend--who recently became more dear-- I start to pay attention to woman. The idea of 'woman'. Of being a woman. Of dealing with woman. Who they possibly are and where are they going. And from myself, I start and will probably end. I never liked woman or had many female friends. Nor will I do that now. But it could be that for years, I and probably the 'elle We', are ashamed of who they are. One little discovery: the woman anatomy is fantastic. (hush hush, this is what I am reading.) The history of female body. All the forbidden and the more and more forbidden. I read the 'vagina monolgue' 5 years ago or even more! I read it but not sure what I got out of it. But it is interesting, because I am like a camel. I read. I dont get what the hack are they talking about. Then I get it years later and I even can remember the book and the words. Hey, I am proud to recognize recently that I do, very much so, have a photographic memory.

Anyways. What's appealing of a discovery to me is that we are born complete. We is the 'elle we'. Complete. We have all the organs ready. All the eggs residing there. All life ready to be blown into. And we go from Peak to null to again another peak. As for the 'Il we', they are incomplete. Complete. and then incomplete. Hey, dont blame me. It's her who said so. 'Woman: An intimate geography.'

Well, it makes sense.

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