27 Jan 2006

SCENT FROM THE LIBRARY

This is her name. The silent girl or woman, I do not know, who I see passing by my door everyday. Silently she walks. Retreating in the way she says 'Good morning'. Alone in her world. Totally alone. No one knows who she is, or what she does. She sits in her own space. The library. A neglected place in our company that no one goes there. Hardly enter this room. She sits in there, no one know what she is doing. Just there. You know she is alive when you see her in the kitchen, bump to her in the elevator, smell her old perfume. Other than that, no one really cares about her. But the interesting part is that she seems to not care about anyone either. Kind, shy and super introvert as she might be, sad and insecure is what I see hidden inside. I personally see her shadow. Smile at her. Try to extend the rapid good morning, to 'How are you Abeer? Nice accessories.' To which she would give a fast bow with her body language, smile and then leave. She calls me 'Anaessa H.'

I met her yesterday in the kitchen. For the first time had a close look to her face. She is not that old. Maybe early 30's could also be late 20's. She does maintain an very old style in everything. The makeup, cloths, accessories, attitude. Strange but innocent. I talked to her. Maybe I was lonely as she was, and could be I was curious. She talked. She actually throw a bomb in my face. This girl that everyone just neglected, whispered about her in a funny way, called her weird, had a masters in Economy, especialized in World organization like GAT. A diploma from Law school in financial transactions. Finished all the course work towards her doctorate. Didnt continue to write her dissertation where she chose the GAT and QIZ as its topic. Registered as a Researcher in the theory of Economic. Has couple of researches. I was shocked. She stopped doing that since joining our company. Why? Because she lost hope in joining any place where she can continue what she wants to do. She prefered to get into a company that pays her OK, than running endlessly in the corridors of the government asking for a job. When she finally got a job, it was in the Transportation area. Doing what there? No body knows.

Thus in our library she stays. Doomed by her interest as a researcher so they basically burried her in where she can research. But researach what? Nothing. She sulked into loneliness and ended up ignored in the little corner. Not researching. Not talking. Not even dreaming. Just sitting there. Give you a book when you need. That's it. Lost her potential. Her passion. Her hope. These were what she said. 'I chose this library. I can't complain.' I urged her, 'You can change that! Researcher in economy. Wow. Please do something before its too late.' She smiled, ' I see many people come and go here in this company. I am here since the start. I guess no one is satisfied. As for myself, I am. Until God has a different plan, I will pray that He does the best.' Really.

2 Comments:

Blogger Alina said...

Very intersting story, Haal! Kind of reminds me of how I used to feel when I decided to give up journalism...But I didn't just stop everything, I just searched for new interests. I wonder which of us has a better attitude.

1/27/2006 05:52:00 pm  
Blogger ~ATOM~ said...

new address http://www.clobberedtodeath.blogspot.com/

1/27/2006 11:00:00 pm  

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