30 Nov 2005


The more I unveil, the more I want to unveil; the more I discover the more I want to uncover; the more I love you, the more I want to love you.

My heart leaps at your remembrance, & guess how often this happens.

21 Nov 2005


Started with a wondering statment about 'Wisdom' & 'Knowledge', opened to a spacious space about seeking connections between, what seemingly appears disconnected and unrelated.

Place: The old coffee shop where we used to meet.
US: Different. Yet...
Conversation: Same energy. Same flavour.
Duration: Enough for a coffee and a brownie.

15 Nov 2005



So, you enter a nice romantic place, see a couple of lovers just simply dissolving in one another. Holding hands. In total embrace. Holding one another. Feeling one another breath. Total harmony. Floating spirits. Nonstop rivers of unspoken messages and feelings....... and on and on I can go. What is the first thing most people look for? A ring in either of their hands to make sure they are married, or engaged. Make sure they are acting under the legal shell. If the ring is on, then they must be seriously in love and he is not playing with her emotions, and she is not for his money or position. Simply not playing. If they are married, we immediately assume they are just a new couple. No way they would be married for too long.

We play judges.
We look for checkpoints.
We want everything to be as we know it.
We want things the way we do it.
We want everyone to have strong morals because this is the right way to do things.
Not sure if we are moralistic ourselves or just using morals and ethics to play safe and hide.

13 Nov 2005


Does living in a hypocrite society give you the right to be hypocrite?

Does marrying more than one wife permissible in this Egyptian society's norm, especially that it claims its abidance with the Coran and Shari'a that permit man to take up to 4 wives? What does it follow at the end of the day, Coran or personal and social norms? Why isn't it ok to take a second wife if Allah permits it? If almost all the companions of the prophet had more than 1 wife, or this will be 'society' and 'culture norms' of the arabs at that time not applicable in our modern possessive society?

Does 'Islam is a solution' is another hypocrite slogan or a sincere one? Do these people raising this slogan really know what they are advocating? Did they really investigate our society's problem and searche in Islam and found the 'Solution'? From whose perspective this solution will be? Will they allow man to marry more than one wife or won't? If yes or no, on what would they base their judgement? Is it a selective opinion for the general Maslaha?

Are we an islamic society? Are Christians really Egyptians, or is it the other way around: are Muslims really Egyptians? Who is an Egyptian? Any definition? Why can't Christians have their own political candidates raise slogans like, 'Jesus is the solution. Follow him.', 'Love is the solution.' Whatever. Why can't they have the Christian brotherhood as well?

Does wearing black to funeral an Islamic practice or Egyptian practice and norms? Can a woman go to a funeral wearing white? Can they do that or just be ashamed lest she will be deviating from the society norms? But she knows wearing black is not the islamic way of doing things. Or suddenly this will be a 'chosen sunnah', and start to draw wide lines between it and leaving ones beard and how different this issue is from that?

What is marriage in Islam? Did we manage to transfer it to a hypocrite theartical well directed play? Is it now another 'institution' where wives and husbands, not all of them of course, take it to vent their artistic talents?

What about Love? Is it also an umberalla for hypocricy and a doorway to not being oneself, and doing things aganist our nature excusing ourselves that we do whatever we are doing out of Love? Where is the thin line? Value system, any?

En bref, is Man a hypocrite being? Leaves his trace everywhere? Managed to corrupt? Managed to decorate everything with false ornaments, give things different names and different identities? Like insisting on treating your sheep as a dog? Ever saw your bawab kids doing that... placing a leash on the goat and dragging it? I personally treated my German Shepard dog as a donkey. Insisted on riding it. Wondered later what the dog thought of me. A donkey?! Maybe. On the donkey's note, did we actually misjudge the donkey?!

I am just simply not in the mood.

Allahouma arenee al-ashiya'a 3allah haqiqateha.

Oups, al-Sharief, is this part of what al-Haqq means?

3 Nov 2005


Night of destiny, some would translate it as such. Others would say, Night of power, Night of Pure Love. A sufi would actually translate the word Layla, as pure love. Mysterious night.
Does this ritual or practice or whatever you call it come under 'Commonism'?

Muslim Brotherhood is back with new strategy. New Look as Ahram weekly called them in its latest article. I didn't see their banners anywhere near, but I read today that their slogans are: 'Islam is the solution.' 'Together we fix life with religion.' Well, I have mixed feelings with these slogans. First impression, Which Islam? What kind of solution? Solution to what? Fix what? What does religion have to do with politics? Wait a minute, what does Politics have to do with religion? Tons of questions?
Does this slogans come under 'Commonism'?


Your gift is accepted and has always been.
Your gift is yourself not a book or a pen.
And if I accepted your book it's for,
the trace of your soul its pages bore.


'What?' I exclaimed to my friend while having Iftar at a lebanese place. He said, 'Not COMMUNISM but commonism. Comes from 'common'. Everyone just doing what is common without thinking to differ.'

Interesting! I thought to myself. Yes we are so fond of doing the 'common'. The norm. What we found our parents and those around us do. Just imitate. Sometimes we ourselves are not convinced of what we do, but still we do it. When asked why, we just surprisingly become talented at inventing reasons, usually boiling down to claiming its tight strong bond to our islamic, arabic, egyptian, society, culture, family norms and traditions. Of course, the more the religious factor the more you have a point that silence your contender. And this is when I use some of my often sayings

Any secret? It is easier. Safer. Everyone does it, then it must be right. I am no genuis. Who am I to have a point of view or see differently or even think. Conform else you are a rebel. REBEL? Yes. and then you enter in aisles of 'why do you want to challenge. Why want to be different. What is that they you are trying to prove?' Well, no one is trying to prove anything. Just want to feel some relevance to who I am inside, not who you think I am or should be, or shoult think. Experiencing my basic elementary right of acknolwedging who I am inside. Not just shutting the real uique self away, and by time lose touch and eventually start carrying a burden.

I salute Mo when he says that he writes to know what he thinks. Yes. Speak up so you know what you think. Say concrete statments. I personally keep reiterating my statments saying, 'I mean......' and go on and on trying to really get out what I have inside. Speaking up, of course in a healthy ambiance, facilitates our access to our real thoughts. Sometimes I find myself saying 'common' statments, stopped by my partner, I re-iterate, rephrase, reshuffle, resharpen, rethink, repierece through my own thinking until I find exactly what I want to say or what I mean. It sure needs a trained ear, trust, understanding, space and patience from your conversation partner to really want to take himself there to what you 'really' want to say.

I have learnt, from here and there, that I just probe. Ask and let the other-selective other- tells me what he/she wants to really say. It is not easy. I am not easily satisfied with answers. I say, 'But.... what do you think if....', ' what about X how does this fit in your context.' It is great of course depending on who you do it with. With the majority I stop at just first level of probing, with few others, can think of 2, we can keep going on and on. Of course, it is mutual probing. I usually say silly shallow answers with people I don't know. Just what will pass me by the conversation. The majority will just nod. Cool. Very selective will pay attention and ask and probe. And I go on. So it is really mutual.

So what I want to say, very few of us really listen to what others say, to what they themselves say, to themselves. We just want a packaged answer. Just the common statments scattered here and there. If we happen to stumble upon uncommon answers we categorize them under another category that we unconsciously classify as 'philisophical and I am busy now dont have time for this now. But yea yea interesting. We can talk about that later.'

Reason? We are fine like that, why complicate our lives. Well, maybe there is a point here, but is living like everyone else is the purpose your name is different, your spirit is different, your day of birth is different...... Are all this an identification of just another fellow. A replica of me and of others. Just tags. No content. I doubt!

2 Nov 2005


I did a small piligrimage. Riyadh. Jeddah. Riyadh. Cairo. Stayed in Jeddah for 1 night. Just enough for one small piligramage. Strange things happened. Strange conversations took place the night of my going to Jeddah from Riyadh. Consciousness of different levels popped up. Images and pictures revealed itself in what intended to be a 30 minutes quick chat that extended to 6 hours of deep talk. Amazing this Divine presence that dominates everywhere. Every talk. Every intention.

I entered the Haram. Was happy being there. Amazing. Enjoyed it more than expected.

Why one night? I never intended to go. Happened like a dream. Suddenly I found myself there. Everything was arranged. So fast it started. So fast it ended. Forever it will be lasting.

I am glad I had clear intentions. As clear as I can be with myself. How clear can this be? Do not know? Maybe twisted, but who cares. I threw another silent one. I am a menace. Playing tricks. On Him? No no, on me. However, I trust I will be guided to change. Change to the path of al-Haqq when acquiring the wisdom of 'Ali. With the mercy of Abu Bakr. To the completness of Muhammad. Thanks to the messanger whoever he was.

Virtual is this life. Private is the connection. Network is everyone's movements.