WORSE THING
A real killer is to wait for something to happen. You have no idea whether it will be good or bad, but just the state of waiting is annoying. Of course I always expect the worse to happen, but keep telling myself to portray positive energy or at least neutral one. But I just get really annoyed with just waiting. I know that sometimes giving things & people & oneself time to reflect and see what holds right is really important, I know all that, ask my friends to do so, but when it comes to me, I just cant. Simply I can't.
At some moments, back to my War nature, I want to do any stupid thing even if I didn't mean it or mean the total opposite, just to get a reaction and get a glimpse of what is happening. Of course, the reaction is not always the right one. In fact it causes more disturbance than good, and many many times had I remained silent it would have helped.
So, now for all I care about is to hold my little fingers from writing a stupid message or do a crazy call. So what I have been doing? Everything just to pass time and deviate me from running into my irrational actions. Am I sucessful? So far yes. But this is not really a record of any sort, it has been only 1.5 days! Nothing really :) Patience. Well, I dont have any actually.
But I insist!
At some moments, back to my War nature, I want to do any stupid thing even if I didn't mean it or mean the total opposite, just to get a reaction and get a glimpse of what is happening. Of course, the reaction is not always the right one. In fact it causes more disturbance than good, and many many times had I remained silent it would have helped.
So, now for all I care about is to hold my little fingers from writing a stupid message or do a crazy call. So what I have been doing? Everything just to pass time and deviate me from running into my irrational actions. Am I sucessful? So far yes. But this is not really a record of any sort, it has been only 1.5 days! Nothing really :) Patience. Well, I dont have any actually.
But I insist!
Comments
The waiting is driving me crazy too. And like you I feel the need to do something to bring things to a head. But I procrastinate. It feels like forcing myself to read a book page by page & not skip & read the end of the story.
It is one of these times of life that seems hard at the moment, but I keep telling myself that 'everything passes.' SO...
my heart sinks many times a day... in anticipations but I realize that this is not healthy--and I am more conscious of not making myself a slave to anything even between myself and myself.
Good for you. Yes everything passes. Let's hope it passes well. Inshallah.
Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers on the:
"The waiting is the hardest part"
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part
...
...
I'll be your breathin' heart, I'll be your cryin' fool
Don't let this go to far, don't let it get to you
...
The Waiting could be the hardest part. Good Song, Good Lyrics.
I still do. But I've also learned that sometimes you have to decide to decide; to choose to choose.
I probably would've let this post simmer like the rest of them, and by the time I (more or less) understood the feelings it provoked in me, the urgency to comment would be long faded away (just like the rest of them). This one has some urgent tone to it though.
You know what you have to do. Just decide it -- say it out loud! This could be a good chance to teach yourself how to be patient.
There's a saying attributed to the prophet (if I remember correctly) that goes (something like): العلم بالتعلم و الحلم بالتحلم
God bless
Why?
I've been a silent reader for quite some time, but I decided to comment on this post coz it really touches me. I have been waiting too for over a week for my exams results and it has been nerve recking. I couldn't sleep, eat or smile in the face of my family. Horrible. But luckely it came out today, sigh of relief, and i passed. Amaizing feeling.
Why?
Zoss, Why do u think this has an urgent tone to it?
It's really annoying, esp if this thing u r waiting for is out of reach, meaning u can't control or do anything to make it go right.
And yes,sometimes I just lose my temper and do stupid actions..and of course the result is awful.
I don't know what made me feel that way -- Maybe your impatience was genuine enough that it became contagious.
so how are you holding up so far?
We are super funny.
Zoss, you are so playful. Love that! :)