3 Jun 2008


life has never been easy.

it has been a grinder since i came back. you survive with all means. try here and there hoping things will work out at any point. but it seems that it is not for you. it maybe does not mean to have anything work out for now.

a for 6 years?
Z:yes, who knows maybe on the 9th year it will work out and something will open.
a: but maybe i will die by then?
z:then maybe this is the workout that is meant for you.
a: but what is the plan till the workout happens?
z: nothing. just do what you are supposed to do.
a: and what am i supposed to do?
Z: nothing. life is hard and it will never be easy. dont enjoy or not enjoy. just forget yourself, who you are, what you can give, forget how you look when
you smile, forget how it feels when you were alive, ignore how it shakes you when you meet someone you love, destroy all the dreams and hopes you thought could ever happen. simply you meant to be no where and no one.
a: But this is death?
Z: this is the story of your life. accept that and wait for life to allow death to come to your body.
a: it already ate up my breath
Z: well your spirit is next.

a: dont you think you can fight?
Z: no, no. i just told you, it is death.
a: at least a happy death?
Z: i just told you, you dont deserve that. not meant for you.
a: why?
Z: they decided so and you cant change that no matter how you naiively tried. you wont.
a: right, you are right. i tried before but it only left me one time after the other dead. oh! is that why i am dead now?
Z: yea da!!! that is what killed you. you dared enter to go into the forbidden territory. you had been denied. and warned. but you went forth. and their is a punishment that you know.
a: yea! they take away your breath. right. i heard they have this virus they inject in your life. clog this sponge pore after pore.
Z: hey! be thankful, this is a merciful death.
a: yea it is. so what should you do? be thankful.
Z: good boy!

a:what about the dream?
Z: what dream idiot!
a: to find life?
Z: life! did not we just say that this dream is what injected your first death. i will tell you so that you understand. forget. all. everything. everyone. yourself. just wait. just wait. erase any vocabulary of any good meaning. or even bad. forget any emotions. good or bad. just wait. one day your turn will be up and they will clog the last pore. if i were you,dont even pray for this to happen fast. if you prayed, they will not clog it and leave you hanged there.
a:oh no! not even a prayer!
Z: they infected the lungs to give you a sign. dont you ever dare breathe easily. dont you ever dare think it will be easy for you. dont you dare take life for granted. we will let you breathe the fresh air and dream of a ship to sail, but we will crush your lungs and you will sink where you are. be wise and dont even sail. not with your dreams.
a: i wont even breathe

only those who dont know the meaning of life, live!


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