19 Feb 2008


- H., my old friend from Masters, called today immediately after I arrived. He still did not finish his thesis! Been 7 semesters. Well, I will be working on it with him in addition to my paper I am preparing for the conference end of March. Sounds interesting.

- I have noticed that I freak out people with my photographic memory. I try to convince them that I really dont remember anything and when I see them everything related to them just comes in. In all cases, I wish I will be blessed with the good memory and hopefully good ability to connect things until I die.

- Something annoyed me today. I wrote about it in my diary.

- Been silent all day since noon. A deep feeling to stay alone. I did. Haven't been talking or connecting almost at all.

- Not sure if my coughing got the waiter yesterday to think that I am a heavy smoker, or was it my rough attitude! He was confused or new. I think I intimidated him to the max although I honestly did not pay attention to him and actually tried to be kind. It did not work I suppose. All I wanted was to have him get me the order and disappear without too much details of what he should do. Just get me the food and leave.

- She asks me the same question everyday to which I answer in the same exact way that gets her upset. I am not intending to change my answer. Wish I would just be left undisturbed. Just dont ask me: same questions, what you want to do, or tell me what you are doing. I really dont care.

- I like to be alone.

- I enjoy the solitude in this weather. I can adapt myself to the absence of people no matter who they are. Just give me time.

- Distance changes me. And what is broken I dont particularly repair.

- I have a suspicious mind. Very. My guessing is wild and it sometimes hits it right. Sad!

- I accepted today.

- I will accept another thing soon too if what I doubted today was true.

- Been using my ink pen and it is a delight to be use it. I am glad I am back to hand writting. Feels different.

- When I ask a question, I usually expect an answer. I wont ask again though this time. Why? because I guessed the answer.

- I am not easily turned off but when I do, I dont get on again. Maybe that is why I sometimes, depending on how I enjoy you, start again. I accumulate in the hidden memory secretly I discovered. Until one time the memory overflows and the registery halts.

- Oh yea. I am.


Blogger Al Sharief said...

Wellcome forward from CLICHY ...
to "ya karam allah"...

Intrsting what made you what "you are"... Soltiude & all...

Re hellish personalization: , I think it could be a great tool to ballance and deepley comprehend unreal things. What is Real anyway specially to haal!!! I say enjoy...

Wellcome back to the very real "karam allah"

2/19/2008 11:05:00 pm  
Blogger Luke said...

Even you can achieve photographic memory. Just need plenty of practice and useful tips, that can be found at http://www.photographic-memory.org. Great articles and tips to guide you.

2/21/2008 04:20:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoy solitude too, although being sole at age close to 45 seem scary to me. The more time we single the less we want to get married, the less we are ready to compromise, and accept someones flaws.

How old are u btw? Do you have kids? You seem so independent and strong, would be interesting to know your point of view.

Very interesting blog.

Lisa Simpson.

2/21/2008 08:20:00 pm  
Blogger haal said...

It's just the ability to not get bored when alone, and enjoy just being with oneself.

Yes, almost married! :), and not sure about compromises!. And it really depends what you mean by 'strong.' Arent we all are?

2/22/2008 09:57:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:))) We all are strong but sometimes we are called "bitches", which is obviously a wrong assumption ;)

For me Strong is being independent from environment and others opinion, to be able to "swim against the flow" and be happy about it.

Lisa Simpson.

2/23/2008 08:15:00 am  

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