16 Mar 2005

2, 3 and 4 only if....

Lately, couple of my friends--not sure what to call them, pro-Islam, those with a prayer mark, neo-islamist-- have been populating this idea: men in the muslim, and Egyptian society in particular, should take more than one wife for the sake of saving the muslim community. Their main reasons for that were based on the latest statistics declaring that women out-numbered men leading to the spreading of a phenomena which our society calls 'anousa'. A pathetic, women-mocking, I assume a slang word that doesn't exist in fusha, that means women who passed a certain age without getting married. This phenomena on the long run, if it hadn't already, will imperil the muslim society and allow for the spreading of adultery, and the like. What I found amusing was A.'s wife, listening to the conversation, nodded to what A. had said and asseredt that, 'Yes, I will accept A. take a second wife. It is time we stop looking for our own pleasure and serve a divine cause....etc.' ok, now it is a duty on every muslim. Fine.

I carefully hid this conversation in my subconscious, until one day it was forced out of the dead. One of those 'loud shouting' programs was debating why our society (women in particular) should change how it looks to men taking more than one wife? The group advocating polygramy, surprisingly a woman on its panel, was calling it a religious duty, permitted by Islam for public maslaha: protecting society, men and women, and guarding them aganist sins. A somehow logical ra'y that I am not interested in debating. What perplexed me was women stand regarding this more than one wife issue. It seems that more and more women are cool with this. My twisted mind thinks that their only reason for advocating sharing their men is because they are mean, malicious, miserable women who think that sharing their husbands is a sort of collective punishment, and to show other women how much they are suffering. In other way, sharing the madroub, with its various versions...!

As for this ra'y, ijtihad of nass, re-reading, unreading of sacred text, I don't know what I call it, I pulled out Qutb's Coran exegesis, 'fee zilal al-coran', to check what he wrote about it. I am not a fan of Qutb, but it was what I found handy.

Qutb was really very organized in how he addressed this issue. He initially explained these verses in the light of the time they were revealed, and the prevailing Arab/Jahiliya practice of having a large number of wives, 10 at a time. To the men of that time, these verses were limiting. A call to tame men 'sexual desire'.

As for our modern society, Qutb re-read these verses as a conditioned rukhsa or license to polygramy. His argument stems from his deep conviction that Islam is a religion whose first priority is the welfare of man and society; a religion that addresses and knows man's fitrah, and all its legalizations are for this sole reason.

Qutb started his argument by a statistical fact that throughout all times the number of women ready to get married exceeded men with a ratio ranging but not exceeding 1:4. Then, he addressed the social and pyscological problem attached to this fact, 1)women not getting married and this is anti-nature, 2) men taking one wife and sleep around with others, which is a sinful act will lead to social and moral problems. The solution to these problems is: men marrying more than one wife.I could somehow understand this 'theoratical solution', which I am not sure I can personalize it, either as the giver or a taker. But what really got me was his further analysis.

He went on to say that men are sexually active up to the age of 70 versus 50 years for women. Accordingly, he asked: 'Should man stay sexually inactive, deprived from his natural right for 20 years?'eh! Again, Qutb showed how this sexually deprived man can be a real threat to society, either man will be 1) emotionally and sexually oppressed and this is above 'ihtemal alrajul al 3asabee wa al nafsee', 2) men will go out in the street sleep with whoever available to satisify their captured desire. So again what is the solution: take the rukhsa and marry more than one woman to satisify his sexual itch. So how Qutb's analysis sounds to you? For me, I see it very humiliating to men. It simply portrays them as sexually driven, immature beings who risk the corruption of the society with their untamed desire! Kids whose minds are only occupied with toys and candy.

The impressive part of Qutb exegesis was how he explained equality between wives. According to him, it is not 'emotional', or to equally love all his wives. This is impossible, even the prophet couldn't do that. But equality is in reference to how man treats his wives, equally spending on them, giving them their rights without differentiating between one or the other. Kinda like what Nour al-sharif did in his silly musalsal.

I have been reading recently about islamic marriage contract. It is awesome. Women have the right to place whatever conditions they please. I am intending to get advantage of this flexibility, but I won't demand the 'right to divorce' to be guranteed to me . Thanks to the khul'.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Mohamed said...

It might please you to know that unmarried men over 30 are also called 'anes.

3/20/2005 03:32:00 pm  
Blogger haal said...

nope. doesnt please me. actually, dislike the whole 'estezraf' attitude of egyptians especially when most of them are simply scum, intolerant and narrow-minded.

3/20/2005 06:44:00 pm  
Anonymous Mohamed said...

I don't think they use the word out of 'estezraf' though. They have a set path for everyone to follow, and when someone diverts from that preset path (or think differently, or act differently), they start to be called names like that!

3/20/2005 10:59:00 pm  
Blogger haal said...

You should write about how egyptians suck (and its variations) in one of your posts.

3/21/2005 03:56:00 pm  
Anonymous Mohamed said...

I've been wanting to do that for a while, more on the lines of "What's wrong with Egyptians". But its abit complex!

You're not mocking me are you :)

3/21/2005 06:40:00 pm  

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