A Message from within

So June's birthday was all planned behind my back. Planned to have me not included. Planned to have me not attending. More than the real intention of the birthday, which is June herself. In fact, June herself was abused to prove a point and inflict anger. Part of their selfeshness and stupidity. Yes, June might have been super happy. Naive and light. Totally absorbed in the moment. But in the future when she is sober, she will ask. I hope you will find an answer to this by then. Not worried about that actually. Indeed another manipulation will be put to use.

So today I entered John's to get my coffee and he was sitting there. Working on his sheets as usual. Or planning his next move. Or lamenting his destiny. Or whatever. Does not matter what he was doing. It is probably anything but wasting his time in the trivial aspects of his life. I looked at him for a moment. Placed my classical order. Waited until it was finished and left. Did not go to his table to greet him or say hi.  While waiting, I remembered when I used to enter any place and search for him. Search for his face in exasperation for comfort. The moment I saw his face, I would automatically smile. And in most cases, he would feel my presence and look in my direction. It was a remote longing and an intimate connexion despite the proximity and the barriers. We were closer to each other than any soul would imagine. It even surprised us.  Later, when we were together, we continued on the same habit. That time we would have a big smile on our faces and we would go straight