19 Aug 2009


You just know it when it starts to fall. Maybe not so steep falling but later it gets steeper and slippery. Towards a sharp fall that can never be stopped. It maybe starts a bit slow. Easy. In the eye look when a conversation starts. This disinterest regarding the subject, later moves to disinterest in the whole topic, many topics, the person herself. It is this look and you can not miss to recognize it. It is the look of boredom. Of 'where is my share'. Of losing interest. Of not having to be 'good boy'. To being taken for granted. And thus you start to be fake. Not fake in the listening part, we have passed this already. Fake in trying to maintain the old things that were used to be part of who you were. But it is not the same.

Not once was the 21stones mentioned. I bet it is just thrown in the drawer or deep down in one of the bags. Not once was a good note that expresses this lousy boring cheesy, used-to comments read or answered. No. Silence. ANd ignoring. ANd what's with the sharing. or I say reporting. It is reporting by all means. Sharing needs effort to share. Reporting is fake sharing just a male thing. or his thing to feel in control. As for sharing, it is different. And it does not need a passive presence. It needs an active one. someone interested in you and what you are doing. In wanting to be with you. In wanting to see you every minute, if not through being physically present, but through visualizing and wishing to be there. But again, all this WAS a stage and it passed.

Passed for you. WIll pass for me. I am sure.


Anonymous Lisa said...

Good to see u posting. Lines at the end is brilliantly described and written,probably because they touch my soul:(

8/20/2009 12:47:00 am  

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