27 Oct 2007


this is the year. the final year to be. either in or out. not in or out of anything trivial. in or out of life. LIFE. i am not exaggerating when i say that. this is a decisive year. or 6 months or whatever period this suicide mission is going to take you.

want to slowly kill yourself. go ahead. many things to juggle around. well, drop some and choose your priority. work. money. self. life. or what? cant be all of them. you have tons of the second. sufficient of the first. null of the third and fourth. what a fucken life is that? pardon my language? no fucken life you got yourself. mother fucker life you search for yourself. fucked up bitch ass hole life you are putting yourself back into. wake the fuck up. well, you are on a suicide mission, no fuck will bring you back to life because there is no life to you. only paradise. well, screw paradise. there is no paradise anywhere. wake up!

i know surprisingly am putting my hope in the dead person. the dull, robot, depleted, selfish, lost person. my only hope to wake up and discover the misery and dump this all, including you. when you find this, who knows, maybe you will wake up too.

amazing that now the dead is my hope!

my question is 'master dead', when will you wake up? will u really do that quick so that we save solider ryan before being transformed by the natzis. oups, forgot that you are more potent than the natzis. your impact is actually more lethal. what shall i call you? hmmm.... death.

at least natzis had a hope of some sort. you have death and dullness at every pocket and with every breath. you leek selfishness. you leek arrogance. you leek selfcenterness. you portray anger and carelessness. how can i depend on that.

who knows!

life is hard to understand.


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