24 Nov 2006

FRIDAY

I met friday by pure coincidence this friday. I was going to Citystars to meet a friend of mine. I usually go to the mall through the Intercontiental. Wearing a huge sunglasses, I passed by him. He was checking out. We looked to eachother and passed. I turned back and exclaimed, 'OMG, Friday!' And burst laughing. What on earth brought you here. Doing what? We decided to go for cafe. It was fun.

Friday has been one of these guys with whom I had a strong connection. We clicked from the start. He brought me flowers on my birthday and I never took them. I was shy back then. He used to come to our house study with my brother. We ended up talking in the balcony. I really liked him a lot and so did he. We would disappear and connect. Connect like never before and then disappear. He went to the states and back. WHen he was back, I went. Then he went and I was there. We met. I travelled to Texas to see my brother who was staying with him. I stayed for a week with them. Was great. The connection did not disappear. We were master in teasing. After that, we would talk and laugh on the phone. Long distance calls. He became my good friend. He always was. Still remember that I would clean my room and wait for his call. Do paint-by-numbers while he with me on the phone. Was great time we spent together. Both of us were lonely and both of us just wanted to connect and relate.

He break his trip and had an abrupt come back to egypt. I did not know. A year later I came too. Abrupt as well. We met. Ate Smoked Salmon at Bakery during his lunch break. Was really cool time. Talked a lot. He then disappeared again. This time to Dubai. He disappeared again and this time in Intercontiental.

I met him. Going tomorrow back to Dubai. Working in the Cement industry. From cars to aluminum, cars again and now cement industry. At least he knows what he is after.

So I took him to drink coffee. Was so great to see him. So great to meet him. Did not stay long though. Had to go. Did not have to, but just did not want to keep staying. Lots to say but very little will to say anything. It will be another meeting and then another disappearance. Who can endure all that. Was more to me like someone you always meet in a train. Strong connection but at the end it is just a train and he is just a passanger. Same as you.

Anyways, he actually gave me strength to do something I never dared to do. Without saying anything. Just looking into my eyes and saying that I did not change a bit and that my eyes are actually sparkling, I felt strong. Something I have been searching for in the midst of a bad week. A week of negligence and new realization.

Surprisingly I did it. Whatever I did I would never have done it before. Out of something, sure not courage. Just to be able to keep playing. To staying in the shadow. To give chances and space. I decided I do not want to do that. Claime my space. I did go and declared it. Looked face-to-face and eye-to-eye. Saw what I refused to see for more than a year. Ready to see it again. Take the shaking again. Take the thrill again. Take it all, swallowing it and surviving it all. Once and for all. Whatever will happen, will happen. Will not wait to have my fate decided for me.

Thanks Friday!

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