A Message from within

Was super bored. Sad. Not tolerating anyone or anything. Did not want to lose this time of the year. Nice weather and nice ambiance. I decided to go watch 'Devil wears Prada.' Highly recommended. They said that I in particular will like it. Well, I like it. Meryl is absolutely amazing. She gives a different intense deep vibe to everything she goes into. Well, she was great. I love this particular character. The strong, agressive, emotionless, heartless, dry woman, yet inside, a volcano of emotions. Love that she pushes on people so hard. Give them opportunities and wish they take it. Wish they refuse it. Just wish to get the best out of everyone. To make everyone tense. Intense. Confused. Yet at the end, there is a deep trust they will choose what they really want even if its opposite to what she wants. I just enjoy that. So went to the movie. Walked around. Ate. Someone stocked me. It was fun. I escaped from him. He was an asshole. I entered elevator. He entered after me. Ther

I met friday by pure coincidence this friday. I was going to Citystars to meet a friend of mine. I usually go to the mall through the Intercontiental. Wearing a huge sunglasses, I passed by him. He was checking out. We looked to eachother and passed. I turned back and exclaimed, 'OMG, Friday!' And burst laughing. What on earth brought you here. Doing what? We decided to go for cafe. It was fun. Friday has been one of these guys with whom I had a strong connection. We clicked from the start. He brought me flowers on my birthday and I never took them. I was shy back then. He used to come to our house study with my brother. We ended up talking in the balcony. I really liked him a lot and so did he. We would disappear and connect. Connect like never before and then disappear. He went to the states and back. WHen he was back, I went. Then he went and I was there. We met. I travelled to Texas to see my brother who was staying with him. I stayed for a week with them. Was great. The co

The book was there. First thing I get to notice, sure among other things. But was it a sign. Osman's dream? Well, who is Osman? An arrogant, selfish and image orietned empire that claimed majesty and purity, stole lienage and heritage and ended up leaving us in ruins. What started as only a dream runied people's lives. Dreams are dangerous. Dangerous to those who just follow other's dreams and get so indulged in it that they after a while adopt them as theirs and die for it. Or even live in it. Tricky! Some people just can convince you and you go along. Not only convince you of their dreams, but mock yours and make you hate it and be ashamed of it. This 'dreamwashing' act. It is funny! Time to wake up from Osman's dream.

Since the very first day of his arrival here, he was imprisoned. Tried to break from all restriction. Constantly he would try. Escape but at the end his short breath would push him back. One attempt after the other, he just simply ended up broken. He actually died. Can not claim I am happy or sad because I just block it. Do not want to remember anything that would make me emotional. It is better this way. We will all die and that's a fact. Young or old, we will die. So just accept it and let it pass. Wonder if there is a young spirit and an old spirit? Wonder what happened out there to him? Where is he now? He left his mask, but his reality is out.

Not a big fan of it. Not a big fan on technology in general. Prefer my old, broken half working cellular. What's wrong with that. I do not like BB. I think it is an ego phone. Plus it is annoying. Beeping and weeping and wining all the time. Message. Phone. MSN. Email. And what not. Pure distrubance of the soul. It gets me annoyed. Can a phone and how you deal with it tells you something about its owner. Well, sure. Like anyother thing it does say. Sure say something. Taaan... BOOOO... Taraaa... All the time. Annoying to the max. Addictive to checking and be updated. Arising to the hidden urge to be controlling. To be in full control. Nothing by-passes you anytime or anywhere. No matter where you are, you will respond and have your input and say. Complete virtual presence. Like the theatre spectator. Siting in the dark. Watching everything. Actors and play. COmmenting. Laughing and crying. Applauding for a scene well acted. Does the players see you. No. They know you are there to g

You gallop. Gallop as far and as wild as you can. Gallop with your dreams and supplications. Gallop for signs and dreams to come true. Gallop to the sky, racing your prayers to be helped by the sole creator of this universe. Gallop and then you find yourself in this space. Suddenly all the galloping and the scenes racing with it finally cascades. One after the other. All answered. Signs granted. Figuers found. Prayers answered. Dreams visualized and realised. Feelings surfaced. Hands and hearts uniting. You stop your horses. Convince your dream to now hop on to your horse and join you in a ride. You unfold your cascaded dreams and hopes and, not totally surprised, you find that it matched. So now what? You gallop together. Fast and fast. To places and valleys. Curves and mountains. Forests and caves. Forever hidden. Forever protected. Forever closed. You open one after the other. After all is said and done, it is always time to go back to downtown. Where no horses are needed. Internal

Over crab and seabass meal, we talked. Brushing through amalgam of topics. Disconnected yet smoothly connected. Deeply connected. I already cut down a promise to myself, that nothing is disconnected. I should not look at things separately. Every single thing is related. Well, this promise drove and still drives me crazy. I can not just separate and be cool about things. Deal with things on its own. Have to interconnect and in most cases over-read and with that comes the over-reacting. Over passionate. An assortment of 'over' on different level. Anyways, I am 'over' and this is who I am. Can not just be otherwise. Can not or do not want? Well, its my nature to be hot like that. What I can only tamper is my temper and over reaction. I can just be as hot as I am but be cool too. How? I have no idea. Maybe need to redefine 'indifferent'to myself. Give it a new definition to make it likable. Anyways, we choose the best sounded dished. Crab and chowder (shubra) soup,