22 Aug 2006

I C

I do see things differently. I hear things differently. I feel things differently. I am unable to express it. Sharing it does not seem easy thing to do with except when I am totally relaxed and the surrounding permits. It does not happen much. Have to be a certain flow of events and talks. Can not just say to someone, 'hey, i want to talk about x.' Does not come to me naturally. Does not come to me at all. I do not know how to do it actually. It has to come naturally in theh conversation. Partner ready to hear. Partner willing to understand the not so 'logical' conversation, or whatever it might be. I talk. Not wanting an answer but just the security to have me continue and go on talking about what I want and feel. This what matters to me. I guess I am not looking for someone to challenge my thoughts, that are basically feeling related. Just wants someone to listen. Actively listens. It is not just anything of importance but it does say something about who I am. From these talks I can get to see who I am and how I grasp things deep-down. You have to get someone interested in you and in what you are saying to be encouraged to hear. It is not the best organized, sequential, logical or even informative talks or thoughts. Will be intimidated by not finding anything to comment on or add your thought or input. You will just have to listen and be careful not to turn me off. It is an awkward thing to do. For me too. Sharing parts of your inner hidden thoughts are not particularly easy.

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