21 Jul 2005

10 Hours

Simple as it may sound, but one of my favourite things that makes me feel good is when connecting with someone I hadn't met in years, yet be able to connect and communicate as if had never separated. For some reason, I feel re-energetic, reassured and happy.

I went to Cilantro Zamalek yesterday early early morning to finish some work using their hiwifi whatever. I saw an old friend of mine, S., who I hadn't seen in what, 7 years. He didnt change a bit, and he said the same about me. It was a nice surprise actually. S. used to be one of my very good friends, at some point he was more than a friend. We still do carry this 'good time' appreciation feel towards one another, and I do feel that we both recognize how close and similar we are, back then and now even more.

We start talking from 7 am till 7 pm. Unbelievable. Really. Suddenly we looked to our watch and it was 4 pm. 'What' we both exclaimed! OK, instead of leaving we just decided to go have lunch somewhere so we hopped to Thomas next door. I was so surprised he remembered me when he passed by zamalek and remember our walks. Funny. I am famous for this endless walks! I did use to walk a lot and take all my close friends who I enjoyed their company and conversation to walk with me. Walk and chat. Chat and walk and then sit on the river opposite to the 3awamat and then back again. Aimless walks but it was the best thing I could ever think of. Also, I used to write 'quotes' that I like, something I stopped doing the writing part of it but couldn't help remember a quote, especially mark twains' ones. I feel so happy when I know that old friends remember me with particular things and appreciate me. It feels good.

With S. i remember that he was so attached to a certain sura in the Coran and he usually cried whenever he listened to it. I even remember snapshots of some conversation that meant a lot to me. This religion talks were the best part because I have been always interested in that, and S. was good with that, and I liked what he said because it was very sensitive, heart approach and this what attracted me the most. He understood, and now I being more mature, we both understood one another. It is really rare for me to find this.

The connection was absolutely great. We grew in the exact same direction and developed the same interests. We both got into spirituality, developed the same ideas, completed one another sentences and even hand gestures. We both couldnt do anything other than just smile. Really very sweet. I do miss this kind of connection and so does he. This is what he said.

S. got married 3 years ago. I met his wife once but I had no impression other than she is very different than me. Good for him actually. We talked about partnership. He made a very practical decision when marrying his wife. It was a pure logical, mental thing that turned out to be just great. He said that he didnt regret being with her not even once. Sure, he misses some connections that lacks in his relationship, but the stability he feels with his partner, H., is just good enough for him as he made a calculated compromise. 'She never fails me. Not even once. I can always count on her. I will always feel indebted to her.' Very sweet actually. I am glad that he had made the 'right' compromise that suits him. Yes, he does miss having a great conversation but, 'relationships are not only about great conversations.' Very true. There is this deep level of sharing that needs to be there, but there is more than that, 'sharing parts of who you are, and feeling comfortable doing that.' He reached a conclusion that he couldnt get everything and thus time to pick and choose what he needs.

After spending all this time together, we both conclude that it was just like a 'dream.' Life indeed is very strange, yet very excited. I am grateful to Life and to God that they make me meet people at 'right' times to boost my spirit and make me know that there are other things in life that needs to be appreciated and looked into. This meeting, long or short, deep or shallow (indeed it was one of my rarest times where i was able to concentrate the whole time), affected me. It sure gave me something to wonder about, but indeed gave me something to look forward to. I am not fond of contemplating on the past, on what if, or what if not, and I always believe things happen for a reason, and this is good. So thanks S.


Blogger Alina said...

Rediscovering old friends is always great, especially when you realize not much has changed. It happened to me two months ago. I met a friend I hadn't seen for about 5 years and we spent hours remembering stuffs we did in highschool and filling the remaining blanks. It was indeed very special.

7/21/2005 10:45:00 am  
Blogger Mohamed said...

Wow, what a connection. You seem to connect well with the right people.

Is he really 'sharing' with his wife? How can he not have a great conversation with her, yet he's sharing with her?!

This kind of compromise that H made scares me!

7/21/2005 10:48:00 am  
Blogger haal said...

well mohamed, he is sharing but doesnt have to be talking about the same stuff he talks about with his friends, for instance, spirituality, religion... You share but doesnt mean that you must have the same exact interesting topics.

7/21/2005 01:02:00 pm  
Blogger Mohamed said...

" There is this deep level of sharing that needs to be there, but there is more than that, 'sharing parts of who you are, and feeling comfortable doing that. "

Totally agree. But how can H do that with S with the compromise he made, and without being able to have 'a' great conversation with her?! I see sharing goes hand-in-hand with being able to communicate together.

This what-if question is interesting. I'm sure he asked the same question.

7/21/2005 01:11:00 pm  
Blogger haal said...

Mohamed, this is how i see it: if I enjoy talking about religion for instance, it is great to have my partner talk about that, and is interested in this. it will sure enhance our connections and make us be so close in many things...but if he doesnt then it is fine given that he can give me what I want in other areas, and I can talk about other stuff with him. Not him being able to talk about 'religion' doesnt make the connection with him less, sure there will be this wish that 'aha, had he been interested in what religion talks... it would have been awesome.' and sure these connections would be missed but according to my friend, she is giving him what is beyond 'conversations in subjects that he likes.' Security. UNderstanding. Appreciation. Comfort. Listening. Sharing....etc As he said, he made a compromise. Realized he just cant have everything in his partner.

so pick and choose what is most important to you and go for it if you want to follow my friends advice, otherwise, just keep searching.... some people do find their perfect match--or what they 'think' it is.

Whatever the answer to the What-if question is, there remains one reality.... who we are at this moment.

7/21/2005 01:18:00 pm  
Blogger Mohamed said...

Well I agree actually. I'm not saying they should have the same interests in all topics. This NEVER happens. Would be pretty boring too if it did.

My understanding was that they can't have 'a' conversation (maybe I misread), and hence can't really share their lives. But if he just loves talking about religion, and she can't, so what? I don't even see that as a compromise. You can never expect to have everything in your partner, that's for sure. And missing a few conversations of your favorite topics isn't that big a deal, as long as they can communicate and indeed share their lives. Yes, ofcourse, I agree.

7/21/2005 01:36:00 pm  
Blogger MoonLightShadow said...

What’s up with coincidences these days?! I’ve just had one yesterday. But actually whenever I meet those old friends I feel that the connection is not there anymore. May be coz they change, and I myself changed a lot. My own interpretation for that disconnection is my relation with these people wasn’t deep enough to resist change.

Anyways, I’m glade you are still connected.

7/21/2005 06:31:00 pm  
Blogger Al Sharief said...

Indeed, it's a wonderful rejuvenating feeling mostly because the effortless mode of joyous connectivity that goes beyond "Great Conversations"
It's simply sweet "Twa`a ssell"

"..at some point he was more than a friend."

Indeed, it was that same point that will forever be cherished.

7/21/2005 08:45:00 pm  
Blogger haal said...

yes al-sharief, it is tawasil! or an assurance that you didnt go that far alone

7/21/2005 09:08:00 pm  

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