25 Nov 2008


What's the pleasure in the between status that captivates them? They seem to not be able to live a full one life. Always one life ahead. I think it is the story of their lives. Not totally in the state. Not sure what they are really trying to do? Squeeze in more time or take a time out? I really have no clue. I watch them screwing one thing after the other; turning best moments to funerals. When they think wind is in their back, one of them just cuts the sail off. Under any name. Varying from divine presence, to Vatican memorial, to the lost library, to the spanish bull games. You really can not follow the logic there.

And everytime you just fall in the same trap again. Accept. Accept to any negating thoughts. Accept to be a bridge to be passed over to the next. When they install a toll station on the bridge..... suddenly it found itself isolated. Oh well. It is a bridge after all. It will always remain there. Whoever want to cross, has to pay.

Disappointed? Not really. Not at all. I really expected.

11 Nov 2008


And it was not good as we planned. As I wished it to be. It was a day. Only once throughout the past 4 years that it passed well. Ticked with passionate watch to remind me of the feeling, and us with the passing time; to be followed after that by a ticking separation and distance by the year. This time I wished it was different. I was hoping it to be different. Planned for a nice get-away by the sea and mountains; to sink in and enjoy and to forget everything.. We did but only to wake up on a deeper distance; an inability to connect; to find the energy to let go and bring the two wandering souls together. We failed to do that. And it hurts. But I expected it.

We hike and hike, the steep mountain but fail to enjoy the little valley.

And it hurts.