10 Jul 2008


Why am I angry at you?

For simply imprisoning yourself in your own limitation and personality. For pretending. For the life stealing silence you adopted for years, and now embracing as a religion.

For wasting our lives.

3 Jul 2008


Dino's failure as a lover, and an artist, is a failure of empathy. He makes clumsy attempts to know Cecilia, even going so far as to visit her home and her family, but they all fail. Several times, he interrogates Cecilia, and tries to trick her into betraying something authentic about herself. After having sex with Cecilia, and failing to feel any sort of possession, Dino futilely tries to develop such a connection through conversation.

At the end, he would ask her:

"That was good, wasn't it?"
"Yes, it was very good."
"Very good or rather good?"
"Very good."
"Better than usual?"
"Yes, perhaps better than usual."
"Are you happy?"
"Yes, I'm happy."
"Do you love me?"
"Yes, you know I love you."

These were words I had used countless times, but never with a feeling so utterly desperate.


Indeed 'it is not how you pick your nose, it is where you put the booger that really counts.' How true.

'Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them'. But why would I care tell people how I think of them. Or even think of them in the first place. My problem is that it shows on my face without needing to utter a word. I have this tone or look or piercing energy that just leak. Currently I am working on 'Poker face' exercise. Not much progress but it is a must. ANY TIPS?

'If you can not convince them, confuse them.' That I do. Very well. Out of the simple conviction that I do not need to convince them. Leading by example, I cant be convienced, then, why would other be different.

'Half the people you know are below average... idiots.' Pretty much more than half. I know that. Including me if I sounded arrogant.

'We have been working on the basics because basically we have been having troubles wit the basics.' I attest to that. Very well. We still after 5000 years are debating about almost anything. Inside and outside. We are never sure of anything.

'Good writers are monotonous, like good composers. They keep trying to perfect the one problem they were born to understand. ' I think so. Dearly.