18 Mar 2007

GRAMAPHONE

This is the first day in the new cycle of our conscious decision. How slow it passed. Indeed very. Yesterday we talked for 2 hours. I did not want to hangup. I keep feeling my heart sinking when my mind tells me that we have to hangup for any reason. Clock Ticking reasons. As if this voice of yours make me so vivid and so happy. I just miss connecting with you. I really do. I keep having my cell in my pocket. Every time it purrs, I say it is not you. Just to be happy when I see your name.

Today the weather is amazing. Amazing ya habibi. Just the way we would have liked it to do one of our little long walks or close sits. Hand in hand. Embracing your arm and listening to you. Eating and chatting. Laughing. Giggling or even fighting. Who cares. I don't for sure. I felt so much how I am missing you. I was looking a bit good today. Manish to some degree with a brown new pants. White shirt. No makeup. High thick heels. I look good but where are you to see that. I feel depressed.

I walked outside. Smelled the air. Smiled while looking to the clouds. Remembered you. Prayed that you would be here soon. Here in me. Not close. Not with me. Not any separate. I so miss you.

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