A Message from within

Last thursday, was 'just like heaven.' It was all destined for us to meet. Not once per that day, but twice. Unexpected. Light. Lovely and inspiring. I was slacking home. Didn't go to work that day. Decided to take a long weekend off and just relax. Have been a rough end of year analysis and decisions. So I stayed home. He was having a meeting at the fringes of Cairo. Called. Laughing. 'I went to the wrong place. Meeting was at the office and I thought it was at smart village.' I laughed. What an air-headed. So we decided to meet miday at Cilantro, on his way to work. And we did. Just a little talk over coffee. Enjoyed every second of it. We departed only on the promise that we will meet again after he finishes work. Will pass by my house to pick me up. I agreed. I walked home. Did some silly shopping on my way. Bought a cool bag, that he didn't like that much--but everyone did. Arrived home. Crashed on bed waiting for him to call, and he did. I was planning to

Salma... who is Salma? Well, she didn't come yet. But she will be arriving on the 9th of April. Wow! You are pregnant still, however, you: Already knew she is a girl, Already gave her a name, And definetly knew her birthday. I couldn't help but feel a little sarcastic. Not from R., who seems from the first while like a sweet lady, but from our nature. Our pre-deterministic nature. Our deep need to control what we don't have or see. Invent tools, and seek guidance just to know the future. I admit, I wont like to know the gender of my baby. I won't give it a name. I won't seek to know the exact date of his birth. I will leave it all to be a surprise. A gift, from the Giver. Change in it as He likes. Name it as He likes. Shape its destiny as He likes. Bless it whichever way He chooses.

I see lots of them everywhere I go. Sometimes I sympathize. Sometimes I get so annoyed. I watch them over the course of time. One or two have been there forever. This 'rababa' man, I have been seeing for decade now. I initially used to give him something, now I literally hate him. Get so annoyed by him. Whenever he approaches me for money, I tell him to fuck off. I say that, 'Fuck off bugger.' I look into his eyes, and I just see greed and 'makr'. He is so greedy. If you know this man, look into his eyes when you put your hand in your pocket to give him money. His eyes would jump, racing your hand to the money. His eyes drip with greed and need. I urge you to take a look. In case you are interested, check 26th July street, Zamalek. The 'rababa' guy over there. If you are more interested--alif you might do that--follow him to where he lives. I am so curious to know how he lives after all these years of begging. I am not at all careful with money. I dont h