30 Aug 2005


This is Mo's recommendation*. Interesting bost apout za diverent groubs in za society. I loved it. Blease go read it.


This, that, this and certainly this are interesting to dive in. I particularly like the 'mint in the Bus.' If you are one of these or those brace yourself, I suppose! Well, maybe you will actually like them, who knows! They are very well written. Moderate, thoughtful and funny.*

This is an interesting one. Interesting for a total different reasons than those of Alif. Find your own judgement on the post. Hope it inspires you to say something about what I personally consider a phenomena.

Zoss is absolutely AWESOME. Love her/his 'something', afraid my labelling will limit what I felt after reading the posts. Thanks!

*Sorry Kayla, these are arabic posts. Check the last one, it is in English though.

28 Aug 2005


Ladies and gentlemen,

I am PRO Mubarak.

Yes, I hate the guy.

Yes, I know all the negatives he and his gang have been doing but there are positive points too, and these are what we should support and beg to dominant.

Yes, I dream of someone else to come rule. I personally like the old monarchy time.


I believe that democracy is a way of life that needs training and readiness. Awareness. Lots of preparation before we grab it. I now enjoy the 'training' that everyone is exercising his right to say what he feels, go on demonstrations, curse the president. Awesome. This is what I am pro. Pro hearing the voicing and exercising my right to object and complain and be effective. Down or up with Mubarak is maybe the end result, but the main goal, I think, is 'exercizing' a right to be a positive citizen who feels that he OWNS the country and belong there. To feel that Egypt is indeed my country and I do contribute.

27 Aug 2005


'...it is God's plan that He wants you to be put in a certain situation or to pass by something, even if you don't like, to examine us.' Interesting statment?

Why people think this way about God & situations they are at?

Can't think of any phrase other than, 'Changez le destin a chaque carefour...' by Brel! Any contradiction here between the two statments? Between Brel's and this statment? School of thought, if any in the two cases? Any connection with questioning vicegerency?

I dislike to think that God is putting exams, tests and watching you as you stumble for the sole purpose of 'examining' me. Examining me for what? He knows me inside out and doesnt need stupid suffering test to know how I will act or react. If we are going to speak in this naiive 'test' language, then I think everyone chooses his exams, his questions, and his answers, and we already know our answers. In otherwords, we consciously enter the exam we like but at the same time enjoy playing dumb and that we 'OUPS..Was this an exam. OUPS...I failed. Ah Ok guys, this is from God and I must suffer and endure.' No my dear, this is fake. God gave you 'reason', 'mind', 'heart' and everything to go on your own and we accept that, so be responsible of your choices and dont get God in the middle. God has nothing to do with your choices or exams or whether you sharpened your pencils or if you even brought one.

I chose Brel and Vicegerent theory. More liberal. More mature. More responsible. More inspiring and powerful. Harder. Cleansing.

26 Aug 2005


Yesterday, I walked to Dido's with my parisian friend. The weather was super nice and I was in the mood to walk actually. We didnt talk much, just enjoyed walking together exchanging couple of statments everynow and then. I guess, everyone in his own thoughts, which I hadnt much or any in particular. Just feeling a little quiet inside I guess.

So we entered Dido's. We sat on the table overlooking the window. If you havent been to Dido's before, it is a small place, nothing fancy, very simple, very cheap too, and I like it. It was fairly empty except of a loud table with a group of girls and boys. Listening a little to their conversation I cant help but realize they were the close by Chruch's teenagers. The gals were each wearing a cross, and the guys a golden necklass with probably a cross hanging too. They were just hanging at Dido's after Mass. I remember my best friend M., he is christian, who used to love going to Mar'ashli church on fridays to socialize, attend the cermony en passant. He is hilairious. I am not saying this in a generalizing tone. Actually, I love that my friend was so open and honest about his intentions, nothing to do with his faith or anything.

The group was talking in a very loud voice. Cant help but hear their discussions. They sat in a way where a girl has to have a boy at one of her sides. They were discussing Soiree dress, what Sarah, this is one of the girl's name, black dress and bla bla. The guys were actually interested and they advise her how to look better. I looked to see who this 'Sarah' girl was, and she didnt look cute or anything. I am not judging or anything, I was just curious.

Another girl, was giving me her back, I couldnt help but look at her butt actually. I am serious. She was wearing Jeans and all, but her underwear was all out. I told M., if she wanted to show us her underwear better wear a nice one. She was wearing a big underwear, beige in colour, looked old, and it was something like Na'ima 3akif style. This huge ones! Oh well. I was embaressed actually and hoped to just tell her to hide it. I am sure she wasnt aware of that. But it actually distracted me.

Then entered another group. 2 girls alone. One looked very modest and the other a little showy but in a nouveau way kind. She was wearing a trendy ugly green skirt, and a shirt that showed her stomach. No sooner had she sat than she received a call on her cell. A big smile on her face. Rushed out and I found this Toyota Corolla car parking and she rushing to the guy inside. She suddenly transfered to this feminine figure with a smile hehehhe. Funny. Obviously, this guy was her fiance to be. He was at the church, went to drop his mother and then came to meet them here...so I thought to myself. What else?! They sat there just infront of me. They guy order spagetti. They served it and gave him a fork and a spoon to eat the spagetti with. He didnt know how to use the 2 tools (neither do I) so he ended up wrapping the spagetti all over the fork, half way to his fingers! I kept watching him. Everytime his girlfriend turned her face, he would pull down the spagetti down from the fork. heheheh. Funny too. Just use the fork and ask for a knife and get done with the business, or ask for a different type of pasta. Worst thing is to go on a date eating pasta or lobster.

Then came another group, 2 gals and a guy. They look a little middle class typo too. One of them was obviously crying so hard and hardly taking her breath. She kept recieving a call on her annoying cell phone that she chose to have a horrible loud arabic song set as this person's assigned tone. She would go outside the place. Talk and cry. Cry and talk. Oh god. I thanked God that I am not in her situation. It is the worst thing to have a broken hard or be threatned to lose someone you love or fight or or. It is horrible. Anyways, I heard her saying to her friend, 'I have to go to Shubra now...' Oh shoot, coming the whole way from Shubra to Zamalek to attend church, why?

So where is the racisim here? Well, looking and following all these groups I had one thought running in my mind: Christians. They talk in a christian way using mots like 'sada'ini, sa7i7..', they have a certain face features, there is something there that just tell you this person is christian. No offense here. Same for muslims, right. Moreover, I was wondering with my friend, why make them come the whole way from wherever they are to Mar3ashly chruch. Is it because Mass here is so awesome or to partly socialize and on the hope to find a mate or a bride.

My racisit thinking is that they choose this church because most likely they would meet girls and guys from decent families who either live close and thus assume a good family...etc. However, judging from what I see at Dido's on Fridays, that again and again, groups of the same standard hang together. The three groups were different for sure in their social standards. They way they eat, act, dress. You cant just help ignore it. Whether we like it or not, their is social segregation happening even at church, and sure in the mosques too......

Anyways, I am not what I want to say here... but social segregation is normal i suppose whether we like it or not.

Maybe will refine this post later.

25 Aug 2005


Three names you go by:
-Zeinab (just recently)

Three screen names you have had:

Three parts of your heritage:

Three things that you don't like:
-Shallow talks and arguments
-Showing off
-Lame, scared attitude

Three of your everyday essentials:
-Reading with an early cup of coffee
- working

Three things you are wearing right now:
-Old afghani bracelet
-Skirt and tshirt
-Grandma necklas

Two truths and a lie:
-I am impatient
-I am passionate
-I am lazy

Three non-physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:

-Confident enough to be himself
-Seriously cheerful and light

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
-Nice smile and sparkling expressive eyes
-Short hair (1/2 or 1)
-Neatly dressed up with a fresh shower look and smell

Three things you just can’t do:
-Wear bikini
-Be indifferent

Three of your favorite hobbies
-Horse backriding
-Snorkling, swimming (water activities)

Three things you want to do really badly right now
-A long walk or hike with a close mate
-Go to France
-Sit on a boat with a nice group, Z., S. E., and my brother

Three places you want to go on vacation
-Tunisia and Morocco

Three things you want to do before you die
-Taste the secret
-Teach my kid to use his heart & head, be a cavalry & a warrior
-Be the same inside and outside

Three ways I am stereotypically a woman
-I like decent compliments
-I enjoy beauty
-I detect fake feelings

Three ways I am stereotypically a man
-I fear commitment
-I want to over-achieve at work
-I am tempted to get physical in fights-my hands itch

One request here, whoever reads this can you please answer the same questions in the comments section or make a reference at your blog to check it there. Some of it at least.

Last but not least, I was tagged by Dalulla, and I couldnt decline her request.


أَوْ كَظُلُمَتٍ فِي بَحْرٍ لُجِّيٍّ يَغْشَهُ مَوْجٌ مِنْ فَوْقِهِ مَوْجٌ مِنْ فَوْقِهِ سَحَابٌ ظُلُمَتٌ بَعْضُهَا فَوْقَ بَعْضٍ إِذَا أَخْرَجَ يَدَهُ لَمْ يَكَدْ يَرَهَا وَمَنْ لَمْ يَجْعَلْ اللَّهُ لَهُ نُورًا فَمَا لَهُ مِنْ نُورٍ

أَلَمْ تَرَى أَنَّ اللَّهَ يُسَبِّحُ لَهُ مَنْ فِي السَّمَوَتِ وَالْأَرْضِ وَالطَّيْرُ صَفَّتٍ كُلٌّ قَدْ عَلِمَ صَلَاتَهُ وَتَسْبِيحَهُ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ بِمَا يَفْعَلُونَ

(Al-Nur: 40-1)

I was originally stopped by the last verse, but then couldnt ignore the verse before. Beautiful verses!

Universal unity? Personal responsibility? Universal Harmony? Deep Instinct Knowledge coded in our Genes?


Yesterday was Cilantro's day for me. I stopped by twice, once early morning before heading to the office, and later in the afternoon to have lunch before heading to my hotshot snobbish client . This past month I have been working and consulting like crazy and have been seeing lots of interesting situations. Very challenging too. The great part is that I feel on top of all that. I think the before bed remeberance I started since the begining of Rajab has had some good effect.

So, Cilantro 730 am. I entered, casually dressed in a white long sleeves shirt and a black skirt. The coffee rich aroma was the first thing that welcomed me. Apart from the rich aroma, the place was rather empty except of 2 men in their early 50's.

The first man looked so decent in his white long sleeves shirt closely captured by a nice red and yellow cuffs, nice classical tie and a Gold & Silver Rolex. He looked so familiar but not sure where did I see him. I sat opposite to him, exchanged looks and semi greetings. I got my newspaper and ordered my coffee and half concentrated on my paper while sneaking a look or two to the decent guy. I was actually trying to figure out who was he, when he received a call on his cell. The minute he said, 'Aloo' I knew who he was. He talked in such a decent, diplomatic, polite, humble, you name it way on the phone. I liked the decency and politeness to whoever he was talking to. After he finished his call, getting ready to leave, I looked up to him and asked, 'Are you Monsieur X. ?' He smiled and nodded. I said, 'Couldnt miss the sound.' I introduced myself and we exchanged couple of sentences before he had to leave. How funny I thought to myself.

The other guy, also mid 50's but he looked like a business man. He was dressed in a pinkish polo shirt and a jeans, and a Rolex, an older model though. He looks very friendly, smiling and exchanging jokes with the waiters. I knew that he must be some big shot rich guy. He was talking on the phone about this deal he got with Caterpillar and Exxon Mobil; he sold his apartment for 1.2; his wife doesnt want the old furniture and didnt want it to even be transferred to Sukhna, a statment to which I couldnt hold myself from smiling when I heard it. He looked to me and said, 'What can I do!?'

Back to the newspaper again, when I felt a knock on my shoulder. There stood my simonds buddy. I dont know his name, but we knew each other from AUC, regularly met at Simonds, and now at Cilantro. He said Hello and sat infront of me. He as well was wearing a Sports Rolex, the black one, James Bond's style. He sat for 10 minutes, drank his coffee, read the newspaper and left.

I was alone, finally able to concentrate on my paper when I heard the polo shirt rich man saying, 'Can I ask you a question? Why did you change it and removed the metal to leather?' I looked up and said, 'What?' Looking to my watch and repeating the question. 'Ah, my rolex you mean? Aha, I want it to look a little feminine.' He gave me a blaming look and said, 'Naha... You ruined the Rolex's look, H.' I answered, 'Oh well, actually I like the sports Rolex.' He replied almost immediately, 'Like the other's guy watch.', 'Wow, everyone is really looking at the other's watches.', I replied. 'Oh yea, ma'am. They are beautiful.' He was right. Good watches really are beautiful.

Apart from everything, what's up with people living in Zamalek, do they all dress and talk the same? Do they all buy the same stuff, and live in the same standard? I mean is there a stereotype of who the Cilantro Zamalek people are, especially those who come early meaning they live inbound and not a morning comers? Do they all recognize one another? Do they all talk in millions like this polo man? Park a Jagguar with a Chauffeur in the no parking area outside Cilantro? Order the semi-handicapped driver to bring him the newspaper instead of him just hopping there to get it for himself? Wanting to throw expensive furniture in a 1.2 apartment because his wife doesnt want it, and doesnt want him to even think about shipping it to Sukhna? Can he just give it to Mustafa Mahmoud mosque to help tens of couples to get married? I wish I could have told him that.

I would like to think that decent people, not particularly rich ones, live in Zamalek. There is a big difference actually between 'decency' and 'richness'. The later doesnt in particular inculde the former. Our apartment building for instance, is far from being fancy. No Jaguar or Hammar parking in its garage, rather moderate cars which are cheaper than a Rolex. Apartments itself are simply furnished with no fancy statues or expensive accessories. Old ones maybe. Good taste maybe but for sure nothing fancy like the ones we see on this 'Dream TV program, houses and gardens.' But I see that some parts of the society seeks to separate and distinguish themselves from other ones. I maybe really exaggerating, but how odd it is for me to find 4 out of 4 customers wearing 4 different Rolex models. What is more important is that 2 out of the 4 (myself and the polo) had at least noticed the others watchs and actually talked about it. Does this happen usually!

21 Aug 2005


I see Music as the true maker of civilization. The thread that connects what I might have meant by 'Islam the civilization'.

A further question hit me last night, 'what have become of us, Egyptians, who were conquered by this glamourous civilization called Muslims.' Did we call them the 'Arabs' or 'Muslim'. I dont know. I am also choosing to believe that Islam/Arab came to Egypt not by sword, but that we Egyptians did welcome them.

The art of recitating Coran, a book I was browsing last night at Diwan, speaks about the different ways of readings Coran got me thinking about this 1/4 tone that we have in our music. Can it be an Islamic tone, Coranic tone? For instance, 'howa sahih, sahih, el hawa ghalaaaaab... ma3rafsh ana, ana.....' This crying like sound is actually Coranic, right? The prophet said, 'if you can't tabkou, fa tabakou'. This was not Egyptian music. We had our great Harp, 2 buo'ih like instruments inscripted in our temples. Then what we now call our music, has the nahawand, which comes from Nahawand. Again not Egyptian. Kathoumiyat which is Turkish music with its ta'tou'ah, fa'fou'ah, and God knows what!

I would personally want to have 'Egyptian' not an Arab not a Muslim as my identity. This is what makes total sense to me at this point. But not the today Egyptians, because to be honest, when I open my window and look at the Egyptians I see, Poor Kuwaitis. Kuwaitis with no Oil. Not Egyptians as those who built the Pyramids. Did actually the Pyramids lose the battle with the Ka'ba, as of historical importance. The extra care we give to the Ka'ba overshadowed that of the pyramids. Not saying that we should ignore the Ka'ba, but I am just wondering why the pyramids got ignored.

20 Aug 2005


Is Islam a 'religion', or more than that, a 'civilization'? Can we as a parallel term say Christendom rather than Christiantiy, China rather than Confucianism.

Is it much more than a system of theology? Is it a complete civilization?

'Is it true that every Islamic movement of thought, be it religious, political or social, has tried to anchor itself to real or imagined facts of Islamic history, carefully selected and interpreted to justify or attack a current practice or future course of action. These movements are often radically different, so numerous and sometimes often oppose one another in what might seem to disinterested observer as ideological weapons rather than accounts of the past. Yet such is the nature of Islam or historical religions, that there has been always and will be a relation between what Muslims believe to be true and right and what they believe to have taken place in early Islamic history. Their quest for justice seems to be closely related to their quest for the practice of the early Muslim community.' (Mahdi, On the Use of Islamic History)

Is Islam again a religion whose thoughts, events, beliefs are an outcome of Historical documentation....Something like that, I am not sure what I want to say!

18 Aug 2005


This week I had a theatre itch. I wanted to go watch a play, not the commerical, summer ones, but what we call the serious type, that of Al-masra7 el Qawme style. I just felt like go sit in a nice, dark, cool place with some life show infront of me. Not any type of life show too, it had to be an agressive one. Agressive in terms of being full of emotions, struggle, with energetic, firey characters and drama. I couldnt think of anyone better than Raghda and her Shahrazad play showing at the Jumhuriya Theatre downtown.

So, Tuesday almost 9:10 pm, I hopped on get dressed and while applying some makeup I thought of calling the theatre to check the exact time and when the ticket counter closed. Unfortunately, he said the theatre was closed that night. Oups, it was tuesday! Vacation. Well, on the spur of my excitement I forgot. Patience is a virtue.

Wednesday came, still the dream vivid in my head. I was supposed to meet H. after work to talk some business before our important meeting this evening, but I didnt feel like talking work after working hours. Instead asked him to join me to the theatre. He gave me this look and said, 'Mubarak is giving his election speech.' Oh really! OK. 'Enjoy it.' I mumbled.

So, I get dressed. Thought for a moment that I might not get in because I was wearing Jeans and slippers with and a white linen shirt. But who cares. It is campaign day anyways. I called to make sure the play was still on. Maybe they just cancelled it because of this Mubarak shit. Luckily, all was on. Hurrah. I was excited.

On my way, M. called, 'what's up?', 'cool', 'cool'. 'Theatre.' 'oh, no theatre for me.' 'doing what instead.' 'don't know. The match.' 'oh well. See ya buddy.' 'See ya sweetie.' Funny M. He seriously makes me laugh. This week he has been waking up at 4 pm and going to bed at 8 am. He is on vacation until end of the month. We are very similar in many things. We both hate to organize trips, be in charge of anything during outings. Just like to relax and others take care of everything for us. It is a disaster if we decided to go out together alone. Neither of us decides what to do. We just end up missing whatever we had decided to do and usually end up hanging at the Matchpoint, me drinking coke and eating nuts. I think, we are just laid back when it comes to deciding unimporatant stuff. Whatever! Doesnt really matter. Any place will do, unless I have something aganist the place.

Anyways, I reached the place. Lovely theatre. I got the cheapest ticket. 10 pounds, and entered. There was a handfull of people only attending the play. 10-15 people maximum. So we all sat at main area, anywhere we wanted. I sat at the 3rd line, very close to the stage. Amazing. Only for 10 pounds. The spectators were couple of journalists who work on the art section, who came to hang around, bringing their wives and kids. They didnt look like interested in theatre. 3 couples from the cinema institute, one of the guys was this kid who starred with Yoursa at one of the series. These 3 couples were holding hands, kissing, leaning aganist one another. Disgusting. One of them just kept kissing his girlfriend, playing in her hair until the show started. The girl for some reason looked back to find me looking at her. I was giving her a half sarcastic, half disgusted sharp look with a little opening of my mouth. She couldnt compete with my starring looks, so she turned her face and moved 1 inch away from her boyfriend. Anyways, this girl when leaving at the end of the show, looked to me face to face, eye to eye. I looked back to her back from under my glasses. 'What do you want?' she almost said with her eyes. 'What the hell are you trying to do.' I answered back. It was kinda funny this body language, silent looks. I like that. I wasnt happy with this kissing stuff. She is hardly 19 so was the other kid.

The show was good actually. Not as energetic as I thought it would be. Raghda was cool. I was expecting more actually from her. I love her agressive way of speaking, fiery eyes and spirit, her blunt style and controversial character. She was half all that. Maybe the spectators were annoying. She had to stop the show twice because of the noise, people going and coming, late comers..etc. T.E. I said to myself. I was furious. The family infront of me had 2 kids making lots of noise. I hit the seat hard with my feet during the show to make them shut up. Everyone looked, but I just didnt care. What the hell, cant you shut up and respect the actors.

For some reason, I think that the play was cut short. It lasted for hardly 1.30 hours. I left. It was nice breeze. I drove downtown. Looking beside me I saw Ayman nour in the car next to me. Black Mercedes. He was sitting next to the driver. He actually looked nice, although I hate his mouth and how he speaks. I looked to him. Gave him a thumb down for the old mubarak and moved. He stopped by his office while I continued. I didnt feel like going home, so decided to go get a pancake from al-azhar place. I went there. Parked illegal and got a sugar one, sat down ate while enjoing the nice breeze and empty streets. Everything was so quiet. Mubarak was actually giving his shit at the Azhar park couple of hours ago, so I guess people just stayed home because they knew there would be a traffic jam everywhere. I was lucky.

On my way home, Z. called. He was still at work. He actually stayed till almost 2 in the morning. The network was horrible for some reason, so we didnt hear one another. He sent me a msg with some news we were waiting for. Oh well. At least he sounds cool with everything. I tried calling him later, but he didnt answer. He was cooling off at the ahwa with M. Funny these guys. Their lives are revolved around: the match, a dirty ahwa somewhere downtown, work and fishing. Well, 'and the alternative is....?' was M.'s answer when I mumbled about what type of life is this this evening when he called me.

Oh well. What is the alternative? I dont know.

Ah, the business meeting went awesome. They were just impressed in a way that scared me, and thus had to ask them to take their time to make sure they understood what I was talking about, and if it met their requirement. I knew I was good, confident and precise. I have been preparing myself unconsciously for this meeting with this alone time theatre night I had , and later this morning when I sat at my office reading in this awesome book: origin of Islamic history, an assortment of long essay, I checked from the library last week. Actually, these are my rituals when I want to concentrate. So I realized.

Anyways, I waited for H. outside until he finished his part I could have just left, but I wanted to wait for him to say goodbye. He is leaving for vacation for a good 2 weeks. I will miss my buddy! No philisophical business talks for 2 weeks.

I went to the car. Turned on Buddha-Bar, Cold A/C and drove away.

17 Aug 2005


This post is only a venting area for all those who are angry at me for any reason. Feel free to express, and complain as you like. Please use all the space you want.

Happy Venting!

16 Aug 2005


'Umar B. Khatab, a renowned, prominent figure in the Islamic history, so admired by many muslims, me included for sure. Growing up, he was my favourite. Ranking him immediately after the prophet, despite Abu-Bakr's sweet kindness, but it is just that Umar's character was very close to what I like. This strenght, dareness, rebellious attitude all dissolving in a tremendous tenderness, attracted me. Right there. This contradiction. Beautiful. He indeed is a unique figure. However, to what degree was he right when tampering with the ahkam that were set by the prophet? Was he an innovative, brainer, an example to adapting the laws set by the Prophet to the current conditions? or did he open the door wide open for anyone to change as he pleases? Was his innovative nature and tailored judging manipulated by history especially during the Ummayad dynasty and used in a corrupted way? Was 'Umar, the law maker, betrayed by history?

15 Aug 2005


You might want to read this on discussing the word brainwash, and this as a refrence to Dalulla's blog.

I am taking a risk here writing this post. But I am really interested in knowing, who are you Dalulla. Not Dalulla in particular as a person, but this Dalulla Phenomena. No offense intended for sure.

What is motivating you? What constructed your thoughts, books (what type, do you read in the first place), lessons, tapes, Iqra TV? Where did you get this information and style that you barrage any discussion with? Do you support Muslim brotherhood, or Ayman Nour? Are you feminist? Do you like Bin Laden or Zarqawi? Do you like the West, America? Are you with separating Religion from state and from politics? What do you think of the French revolution? Do you have college degree? Do you have hobbies not hubbies!...Do you READ? Do you READ? DO you READ? if yes, what do you read? Do you know that Islamic History studies exist? Did you ever have to write a short essay about 'what YOU' think?

You frequent my blog a lot, why? What are you thinking when you comment here? What is your objective? Do you see that you are doing somehting good to me and to others by commenting the way you do? Why? Is it a Da'wa thing in your opinion?

Who are a Muslim? Are muslims allowed to question? How and to what degree? Are we free to think the way we want? Is God a man? A woman? How does he judge people? Is He/She funny? Is it Haram to ask these questions? What is Haram/Halal?

What is the sources of islamic jurisprudence? Did the fuqaha'a and the school of previous thoughts compete with one another? What do you think of Istihsan & Masale7 mursala as a Fiqh tool? What do you think of 'Ali & Mu'awiya fight or misunderstanding or mini-clash? Do you think we should read that part of history, or it was nothing more than guys fight? Do you think that looking critically into Islamic history not recommended and there is no lessons drived from there, we better focus on the positive and ignore any controvertial thoughts? Do you see the Companion of the prophet as faultless? Why? Why not? Who are the companion of the prophet?

What do you think of the different islamic thoughts arising throughout the course of Islamic history? Do you think Mu'tazilla were not good muslims? Is it worth it studying their thoughts, or it is dangerous at this time? Do you think the umma has a priority at this time that is UNITY and for that we should drop everything? Do you think of 'Shi'a' as more than just those who say 'Ali habeeb allah.'What about Islamic sects?

Tons of questions....Really!

14 Aug 2005


Why is it that you have a problem with the reviving of Islamic practices? Or is it that you have so much trouble accpeting that there are obligations in Islam that you have trouble abiding to and that is why u have developed this very defensive and also offensive way of thinking? What you question and discuss in ur posts is always contradicting or questioning aggressively about things to do with Islam and those who want to apply it to their lives. You always have this mocking or sarcastic tone. Questiong? Don't we all? But at least we take our questions to those with more knowledge or balash ya setty la7san all those with knowledge are not good enough for you, then what and who is your source?

Honestly the way you question things is really (not new to me certainly) very unlikely of a convinced, dedicated Moslem, by that i am not questioning your faith in Allah. And who am i to do so.. and am not doing so now either. But where or is there any love in you for anything in or about Islam? What you write and the way you write it is offensive, not just to me as a Moslem but i am sure to many others, but to you in the first place. What are you trying to prove here? Really? What is YOUR AIM in all this? And why? What good would this do for Islam? Or do u really believe that there is nothing seriously wrong in what u r doing?

Have u ever considered to really think again. But let me tell u this to the average Moslem and the simplest of them, there is definetly something wrong about the way you think. I just have one final thing to ask, do your parents think the same way you do? Does your family? Because if they do, then there was no point of all of the questions above. But from what i read before, they don't seem to think the way you do. sure hope not.

And What's this with Christians and Jews: Islamic? Come on.. Even God said lakom dinokom walya din! WHy r u trying to make Moslems and the concepts of Islamic belief look so ugly and bias and hateful when they are not? Instead, why not write some thing like encouraging Moslems who have misconceptions about the tolerence of other faith, that Islam encourages us to live in peace with other people of other faith for instance and not by being sarcastic or mocking. The encouraging tone would be.

You write beautifully and are well read, but i think in the worng directions if what you read is the source of what you write. YOU are intelligent and well educated and come from a good family. Why not use this to serve God and Islam instead of being brain washed the way you are.
And yes. I am sorry to say, I personally think u are one Extreme potential being wasted in the wrong direction. Fianlly, I would love to speak to u in person. I need to hear u out and/or talk face to face even. and yes i do care, enty Moslema, and whether you like it or not i am worried for you.

I know you dislike this but i could not hold it back. I worry for each and every Moslem. And i sometimes wish i can reach to every one just to tell them i simply care, it might make a difference. It did in my life, because i used to think pretty much the same u do till i was blessed with the right people and incidents in the right time. If u are willing to talk haal (talking won't bite you or force u into something u do not like) e-mail me on ***@hotmail.com or even speak to a tolerant Sheikh about your thoughts..take advise, discuss and argue all you want.. and that too i can gladly provide you with..that is if u really want to and have the courage for.

Prove wrong or be proved wrong.
* * * * * * *

So, who are you?

This post is a comment by our friend here Dalulla. Disclosing her name was based upon her request.
This post is a paid Ad. for SAHAR & LUCY INC. , a non-profitable organization owned by Zananeery group.


And what exactly does this word mean to them? Probably not just a word born on the spur of the moment on the comment area. But what kind of reform these people are looking forward to. Who are these people actually? Who are they in the discourse of what is shaping their identiy, thoughts, passion, fear, shame and personality? Neo-Muslim Social thought, can I call them that? Are they really muslims in the true sense of the word, or they are even something more global, something like: Neo-Socio-Religio-Political-Identity?

Who are you people?

Well, turning the question inward....if you are who you are, who are we then?

13 Aug 2005


We*want to build an Islamic Umma like that which was during the time of the prophet and his companions.

Dress code: Islamic Dress. Al-Ziy al-Islamee
Law: Simply applying Shari3a Law of course, what else.
Shops: Islamic.
Schools: Islamic.
Food: Islamic.
Marriage: Islamic
Music: Islamic. Riq waaa Duf balash violin please. Haram! Ayna3am.
Christians & Jews: Islamic

No clue! Just think 'REFORM'. Listen to more tapes. Belive me, Allah will save His Umma soon. Trust me on this.
Jott verses from the Coran that you dont know its interpretation about punishment and threatn to scratch in more and more. Sure, someone will be nice enough to check the tafsir for all of us and let us know. Fellow muslim brothers are sweetheart, ehm, are good brothers.

When the trees in Jerusalem will cry there is a jew hiding behind me, kill him Oh Muslim!

*Based on my incarnation as a T.E.B. Oups, there is no incarnation in Islam! Dema.3ak, you sound like a T.E.B though

10 Aug 2005


You are a 'typical Egyptian believer.'

I saw it written at from cairo describing two of the fellow bloggers. Interesting statment. What does this statment mean in general? What is a typical believer? What is typical about it being typical? And jotting Egyptian does it add more aroma to the believer's character? Spice it up somehow?

Personally speaking* I use the phrase 'typical Egyptian' whenever I mock some behaviour or style of thinking done by Egyptian of course! DAAA. Whenever in an argument or discussion and someone just say some lame answer or opinion, I would give him the phrase, or just hear it in my head. This phrase and its conotation I developed years back when I was living outside Egypt. For me I will call someone 'typical egyptian' when he/she just drop a dead body in the middle of an energetic room; bring discussion to an end; taking discussions to a 'safe mode'; he himself runing and function in the same 'safe mode' and thus expecting everyone to confrom to his safety measures. This attitude of always want to go with the majority even if this majority is just a stoned bunch.

I see it as a reflection of the identity-less that started to invade the Egyptian mentality, causing them to reject the Egyptian identity in search for another global one, Arab nationalism, Islamic, coptic,...just anything but Egyptian. They want to belong to something, safe, more accepted, more divine, more idealistic and convince themselves that they have a direction and a belief they are struggling for. But since they have no identity or lost it in their search for a new holisitc one, it became a matter of life or dead situation to him. The new acquired identity is now the center of his life; glorifies it; goes to extremes with it, just because it is a way to prove that he exists. Moreover, this new identity is what gives him fake superiority over others. Starts to be a step that separates him from those other bunch who are lost in their lives because they are not following his path, the path of the majority. It simply gives them some satisifaction of being in the right side.

In the process of getting themselves convinced with this new identity, they depend solely on their ears. Hardly would they open a book to read others point of view; take a look at what is really happening; look deeply in this new thoughts they are adopting; accept any criticism; evaluate in a practical way...., however, just passionately immerse themselves in the patriot role and VOOOOOOO hit the gas. Full speed. If you carry a little conversation with them, you can easily spot that they dont really know what they are fighting for. They 'heard' this and that, but did they actually read...Not really. Did they evaluate things. Maybe but again through hearing someone talking about his certain evaluation, liked it, and thus hop, adopted it. Of course, this guy has to be conforming to the original idea of course.

With this in mind, I dont need to jott in any more description to describe a typical Egyptian. Believer. Non believer. Westernized. Liberal. Conservative. Marxist. Nasserist. Sadatist. Mubarakist. Aucian. Whatever! They are typical. You expect to hear a boring discussion. Full of big words, idealistic ones. Beeds like sound, tick, tick, tick, tick, falling one after the other. Bunch of heads going in a symphony like manner: YEESSS. NOOOOO. As if everything in this world is captured between Yes and No. As if they figured everything out. Know things and only read and hear to conform what they have.

There is no room for questions. It is always forbidden to ask. To form an opinion. To float. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Conform and run in 'safe mode' and thus, 'limited or no connection', 'Unable to grab an IP.'

This has nothing to do with Mohamed's intention when he wrote the phrase, and from anyone associated with the phrase. I am not by any means having anyone in mind.


So, I went to get Z.'s present last night. It is the hardest thing for me. Buying presents, ewh! It is really hard to know what people like, plus I have a different taste and style so I hate to get a present and latter find it in the attick, or not appreciated. That is probably why I dont like birthdays. I tend to just hide my gift with others, no card or anything. Just the present so as not to know whose present is this. Anyways, I dont like people getting me presents and I dont like to do the same. I prefer a nice party, nice dinner, theatre tickets...stuff of that sort.

So, for Z. it is worse actually. I have to admit that. I keep thinking about his birthday present 3-4 months in advance. Take silent notes of what catches his attention and his comments wherever we go. I just want to get him the best thing, and at the same time something that he would truly like and use. So, here I was, standing infront of Sultan al-Ghury mosque, waiting for this anonymous guy to take me to the Khayamiya market. For some weird reason, I thought of buying him one! And I did. I bought him a big Coushin with arabic/Islamic designs that he can either hang on the wall or just throw on the floor. I hope he will like it.

New experience for me this organizing for a birthday party. Did I say that I dont like that. I never cared for doing that, but this year I wanted to cheer him up a little and get his friends to celebrate. So I emailed S. reminding him of Z.'s birthday and asking if they are organizing something for him. S. called back to brainstorm what we should do. Well, we ended talking about many things but the brainstorming. I think I am not just into planning gatherings, dont have ideas at all. The maximum you can get from me is to be invited. SoI hope we will be able to arrange for a small get-together.

My idea of a get together is simply go out to a restaurant or to the Italian club, have dinner and that's it. Not sure why it would be more complicated than that! I hope this will be the case. My objective is just to gather his friends for him and that's it. Where or how doesnt matter!

S. hopefully will know what we should do! At least I half got the present.

8 Aug 2005

L Word

Loneliness defined.

An emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely people often experience a subjective sense of inner emptiness or hollowness, with feelings of separation or isolation from the world.

It is the worst feeling in the world to have a sense of loneliness. It is often more difficult to know that you have friends, family and people around you but as a matter of fact they are not, they are so distant. Maybe they physically exist and are there but they are emotionally absent.

All i know is that i am disconnected and i don’t really belong.

People might listen but don’t understand; you write, people read but they don’t comprehend; you cry, people empathize and you try to hide.

7 Aug 2005


'Seven depart & nine enters; two give succor but only one partakes.' What are they?

This is a riddle, according to the jewish historical sources, posed by Queen of Sheba who chose to be dressed in white, upon her first visit to Solomon.

As witty & intelligent as she was known to be, this riddle was not said to occupy time but it had implication. Some would go as far as turning this visit from a international politics to politics of gender.

The riddle is a suggestive of the jewish tradition and society that dedicate essential importance to sexual relations that only lead to bearing and nurturing children. The white garment worn by Sheba was a symbol of her impurity, a period during which men are not supposed to be in contact with women. The deeper symbolic of menstruation is a missed oportunity for reproduction. That being the case, sexual relation with women during this period would thus be a waste of semens.

According to the jewish traditions & culture, bearing children was not to be taken lightly. It has its own history that is directly related to the convenant given by God to Abraham and His promise to have the children of Isra'il become the chosen people. God's blessing was similarly granted to Isaac, to Jacob, and by extension to the people of Israel. The survival of the species, a matter of universal concern, thus became a special concern of Israel's society. Thus, producing offspring was not only pleasurable and desirable but had become incumbent on Jewish men and on Jewish women.

The queen's riddle suggest that children bearing and nurture are the proper role for women. There is a lesson in that for any woman who denies sexual hierarchy and prefers to rule men instead, especially among the daughter of Israel.

So, did anyone figure the riddle out?

Simplified excerpts from Jacob Lassner's research on 'ritual purity and political exile'. The reading of Islamic historiography in the lights of Jewish narratives. Brillant work!

6 Aug 2005


'Do you have convictions?' A friend of mine asked me this morning while chatting over coffee. Interesting question! I went round and round in circles trying to answer. From east to west. Improvising. Improvising.

Indeed everyone has convictions, that is absolutely normal. However, the rigidity and the amount of convictions one have are what's important. It, no doubt, indicate how open a person is. Furthermore, how the person reached this convictions is another element we should pay attention to.

The plupart of our convictions is based on hearing not testing and tasting. We heard it, liked how it sounded, saw everyone around doing and repeating it, so we follow. A yawning epidemic effect that circulates. Follow the majority because they just can't be wrong. Well, in most cases, especially recently, the majority is screwed. Why? Because it is a majority of a water buffalo rushing aimlessly towards a direction that they dont see. Their only assurance that they are in going in the right direction stems from being in a group. Being with the majority. Not being alone.

Of course, religion teaching will sneak in accentuate the importance of the jama'a. Indeed true. But which jama'a? For sure a thinking one not an ignorant horde.

4 Aug 2005


Thanks God for everything You have been showing me today. I appreciate it, and am grateful to You and to Your servants. When a door is closed, another window is been opened. And I chose to recognize the window today!*

Couldnt think of anything other than Abraham when thrown in the fire and Jabriel coming to him asking if he needed anything, to which Abraham answered: 'from you, No. But from Allah, He knows best my state.'

I am not Abraham. But it is the same God.

I am Here all the time.

*In case you are wondering what is this window, when it is completed I will let you know.

3 Aug 2005


Old topic I know.

Some muslims when newly joining the 'religious right path' and start to show their dedication to Islam, the first things they do are: grow a beard and wear jalabiya. I am not generalizing but I have seen many cases so far.

Excuse me, why? Why are growing a beard and wearing a dress symbols of anything. Is this considered sunna? I dont think so. In fact, NO. I don't see it as a sunna. I see it as sunna of the people of Mecca at the time of the prophet. I bet that Abu-Lahb was growing his beard too and was also wearing a Jalabiya. So it is not really a prophet's thing but a 'location', 'norm' dress code of a region.


Not the act, but the energy. A pattern of energy that is, in my opinion, created as a result of feeling 'no one will support me', 'I shouldn't expect things to stabilize for too long, I will be screwed', 'things when deteriorate will do that so suddenly that I will have no time to recover or do any act to prevent it.' The result: Black and White reactions. Extreme behaviour. Making a drama out of everything and every incident. Things, whatever it is, personal or career ones are seen as life or death cases. The reaction is either, you dont give a fuck and you go fight the demons and go again and again in this 'black hole', sudden death, or don't do any step without being totally secured, immuned and insured that nothing would go wrong. I am not going to be hurt. I am not going to be betrayed.

I believe that life incidents do shape our character. Our fears. Our insecurities, and desires, and hence our actions and dealing with the outer world. And do for sure the depending on its intensity can become some sort of a permanant 'pattern' that if looking back to our life we can easily trace it and see how we fell into it unconsciously, and I may add, consciously.

Death of a parent who you love dearly and think the world of him, leaves a feeling that 'things I love disappear suddenly, and taken from me when I most wanted it.' During the early youth when you are still growing out of the teen stage, the one you love betray you and go for your best-friend. Another 'sudden death' telling you not to trust, expect betrayals and never give your emotions to anyone. In your career, you reach the top of the ladder and suddenly lose everything and come back empty handed only to start from scratch. Another 'sudden death'. All these incidents happen one shot. Not leaving you a minute to take any precautions. You build, dream and suddenly hit the floor so hard. Losing a support, love and prestige. All these at not time. At one instance. So harsh. Do you expect after all these hits to have him deal in a stable way. Of course not.

The fear of the unknown is stangling every action taken no matter how light and liberal you seem to be. The fear of comitment lest betrayed is hanging over there in your background and is brought to the foreground with the intensity of steam. The desire to shine in any position you encounter and feel insulted at the glimpse of 'not being appreciated' hits you hard deep down, leaving you totally distressed, and dramatizing the whole scene is not a surprise.

'I am alone. No one will help me. I will be hit hard. Everything is life or death situation. To be or not to be. All on my own. Should not trust anyone. No one is to be trusted.' Could be the support is there, but to him/her it doesnt exist. It is another potential 'sudden death'.

The end result, when really sucked in this 'sudden death' energy, you either seek to be absorbed in this energy pattern again and again. Become addicted to it and the fake pleasure it creats, and thus at the fringe of destroying everything just to prove that this energy exists. A victim of this unfair world. This could result in over-reacting and pushing aside people who care until they feel insulted and thus reject you. Once you get this rejection you are happy!

The other direction is to not take one step in any direction unless you feel that things is totally insured, your emotions, your career, your image everything....over thinking and thus stopping for long intervals checking your image until life pass you by while you are sunk in your fears, worries and wounds--and expectation that a wind will come swap me out.

And all that is using love as an excuse to...

2 Aug 2005


Can Islam as a religion be kept in the private sphere? Can Islam exist as the minorities' religion and thus again be kept in the private sphere? Or is Islam by default has to dominate any sphere it exists within and has to occupy, challenge its public sphere?


What is an 'Islamic School'? Why do people really consider sending their kids there? What for? What is special about these schools in a suppositly Islamic country? Is there anything special about religion that this school offer? Does it have a specific syllabus where more islamic sciences are being taught? Or is it simply a seggregation of girls and boys, using the break to make them pray, protect them aganist mingling with Christians,.....and this is what they have in mind when talking about islamic schools? Or could be simply that Christians have their own schools (which most its students are muslims and thus it is not an isolation ideology), and thus why not we do it too? But wait a minute, Islamic schools for sure won't accept christian students?!

My two friends wanted to send their kids to an Islamic school. And we are talking about who is supposed to be open minded, American-educated people who are considered moderate intellects. These are my friends! Same class, same everything, but all of the sudden they now think Islamic. To them sending their kids to an Islamic school is Islamic. They have no particular reasons or idea what is Islamic about this school other than the ones I mentioned above. Segregation and taking time to pray.

Well, taking time to pray as a criteria to choosing a school is naiive. I have known students in a pure Christian school and they have small mosque where they just go pray there. So this is not an excuse. Even if not every school did that, they can use a classroom, the library, the music room to pray. If not, they can just pray the noon prayer at home, like most people do when are out running some errands and couldnt fetch a place to pray. In fact, this Islamic schools are not giving them an extra islamic curriculum of any sort. They follow what the government plan of religious education and they are strictly watched by the government. En bref, all this islamic teachings I can do to my kids at home. I personally had a sheikh at some point that taught me Coran and Arabic at home.

Segregation! Are they going to later submit their kids to Islamic universities too, Islamic Clubs and the like? Why segregation? These girls will probably be veiled and with the kind of religion awareness and protection their family will provide (real stuff not labels) they would know what is right and wrong and thus even in the middle of all the guys of the worlds, they would know how to abide by their morals and behaviour. Isolating and tight control don't mean by default protection, on the contrary, it creats fear of the outside world and fear of dealing with the other. More scary, is in the future how are they going to deal with their fellow Christian citizens they encounter anywhere? Is this a nucleus for sub-divided community.

Why are Muslims doing that? With That I mean isolation, living as if they are threatned minority. We always see that minorities are the ones who cluster and close themselves out from the outside world. They are weak, at least in numbers, and thus want to form their own community. Never heard that a Muslim community formed a little ghetto community for themselves, anywhere actually. They are not into ghettos, but surprisingly now they are. But for God's sake, muslims are majority in this country, why the 'minority' approach they are taking. If christians cluster, and now muslims cluster who will then be the majority? And if the majority is the ones sending their kids to islamic schools, isolating themselves from the community under any shiny name, then it is a weak majority.